Castles Made of Sand
by artofcrying
Summary: Nina moves to live with her grandfather in La Push after her parents are killed. She wants nothing more than to leave the Rez for good - but that all changes one day after accidentally watching Paul Lahote turn into a giant wolf from her window.
1. Chapter 1

**Story Title:** Castles Made of Sand

 **Main Characters:** Nina Powell (OC), Paul Lahote, Jacob Black

 **Also featuring:** Leah Clearwater, The Uley Pack, John Powell (OC) and other La Push residents, and The Cullens

 **Genre:** Romance, drama, a dash of angst

 **Author's Note:** This is my first Twilight fic! Please enjoy! Also, this first chapter is shorter than the others, since it's just an introduction.

 **Chapter 1: The Beginning**

* * *

 **IT SEEMS LIKE THE FARTHER AWAY FROM SEATTLE THAT GRANDPA JOHN'S OLD '93 RANGER GETS** , the heavier the rain falls around them.

Nina Powell lets out a breath she hadn't known she had been holding in. Her warm exhale fogs up against the chilled passenger side window. She absently places her hand on the glass, marveling at the impression left behind.

"We're almost there." Grandpa John announces gruffly. It's the first time either had spoken in nearly two hundred miles. He's a man of few words, which Nina greatly appreciates—especially now. "Would you like to stop in town for lunch?"

"If you're hungry." Nina shrugs, looking out at the grey town moving past them. She feels like if she blinks they'll have already driven past it.

Grandpa John glances at the clock on the dashboard.

"It's about that time. You might get to meet one of my good friends."

Nina nods, not looking forward to socializing.

With the truck parked, Grandpa John walks around the passenger side to open the door for Nina. She thanks him quietly, unused to the gesture. She knows the older, russet-skinned man comes from a different time. Her father had told her stories about growing up on the reservation and having to wait until everyone was at the table before they could eat.

At the thought of her father Nina's chest squeezes painfully. She blinks back the tears as she follows her grandfather into the small diner.

"John!" A man with a mustache calls out. He's seated beside a man in a cowboy hat who is most likely from the reservation based off his copper skin and thick black hair.

"Charlie, Billy. It's good to see you." A smile stretches across her grandfather's features. "This is my grandkid, Nina. She's around Jacob and Isabella's age."

Nina nods in their direction, feeling a hint of panic as the two men invite her and Grandpa John to share their table. She listens as the men talk, the topics ranging from their children (Isabella is Charlie's daughter and Jacob is Billy's son, she learns) to fishing trips and bear attacks.

After finishing eating, or taking two bites of her burger and pushing fries around the plate in Nina's case, Grandpa John completes the drive into La Push.

Grandpa John's place is small, a three bedroom cabin painted white with rust red shutters. It's nothing like the houses she's used to seeing in the suburbs. There's a soul to it.

"Well," Grandpa John clears his throat. "This is home."

Home.

This isn't home, Nina thinks. Home is where she took her first steps, where she busted her knee on the sidewalk learning to ride a bike, where she got her period for the first time, where she had her first kiss on the porch—where her parents were _murdered_ and she would have been, too, if she hadn't insisted on going to the movies with her friends.

No, this isn't home.

But she can't go home anymore.

Nina is pulled out of her trance by the sound of tires on gravel. She turns her head to see a beat up green Chevy pull up to the driveway.

The driver gets out and assists Billy Black back into his wheelchair. Nina watches anxiously as Grandpa John jogs up to the visitors.

"Nina!" Grandpa John calls out to her, just as she had feared. "Billy and Jacob have offered to help move you in."

"I'll do most of the heavy lifting." The young man, Jacob, smiles.

"I can't do much but I'm a good supervisor." Billy adds with a laugh.

"I don't have a lot to move." Nina says quietly. "But thank you for helping."

"Don't mention it!" Jacob calls back, two boxes already balanced on his shoulders. She watches him in awe as he unloads the rest of the truck as if her luggage is made out of feathers. His tanned arms are covered in taut muscles but he's strong, like, _really_ strong.

Nina follows her grandfather and Billy into the house after Jacob.

"This is your room. I don't know if you remember but you stayed here whenever you visited as a kid."

"I remember." Nina murmurs, running her hand over the aged wooden headboard.

Jacob brings in the last box, stacking it on top of the others.

"Do you need any help unpacking?" Jacob asks. He wipes his forehead almost only for effect. It doesn't seem like he even broken a sweat.

"No, thank you. It'll give me something to do." Nina tells him honestly as she looks at the boxes that have filled the room. Her entire life (or what remains of it), all in cardboard.

"Well a few of us, my friends on the rez, are going to the beach later if you'd like to come." Jacob offers with a warm smile, and if this was a year ago she would have yes in a heartbeat.

But that was the old Nina.

"No, thank you." She responds a little too quickly. She sees the flash of hurt on Jacob's face (it's something she's used to, the same look she was given as she slowly pushed away all her friends back in Seattle).

"Okay, well, I'll see you around." He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly before joining his dad back in the living room.

"You should give Jacob and other kids a chance, Nina." Her grandfather tells her softly.

She gives him a weary look. She just wants to be alone.

"I know what you're doing, Grandpa John. But I don't want to give anyone a chance. I don't even want to be here." She sighs, sitting back onto her bed covered in a faded quilt her grandmother must have made when she was alive.

He gives her a frown, the lines carved deeply into his aged face.

"I'll leave you to unpack then. I better say goodbye to Billy and Jake." He backs aways, giving her a small nod before disappearing down the hall.

Nina gets up to softly close the door before crawling back into bed. She takes a deep breath and exhales, painful and shuddering. She doesn't hold back the tears, letting the sobs overcome her body and dampen her pillow.

Home.

She wants to go home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Changing Tide**

* * *

 **IN THE WEEK THAT NINA HAS BEEN IN LA PUSH,** John Powell's small cabin has become a revolving door of nonstop visitors.

Ellen Uley and her daughter on Monday. Billy and Jacob Black on Tuesday. Connie Littlesea and her son on Wednesday. Charlie Swan and Billy again on Thursday. Molly Ateara and her grandsons on Friday.

Nina finds herself wondering if it's a usual occurrence or some elaborate (but clumsy, oh so clumsy) plan to get her out of her room. She can't help but be suspicious of the latter option, especially with the convenient amount of visitors with teenage children tagging along. It's like a weird friendship matchmaking service with Nina in the middle of it all.

The only reprieve from six exhausting days had been a visit from Sue Clearwater on Saturday. She was one of the few visitors who hadn't brought her children, though she promised Nina she had two of them. What Sue did bring, however, was a plate of chocolate chip cookies that smelled like heaven and tasted like ambrosia.

(After Sue had left Grandpa John told Nina about the recent death of her husband Harry. Nina didn't tell him how Sue reminded her of her own mother, or how much that made her hurt heart.)

Nina rolls over onto her back, sleepless eyes blinking up at the ceiling. Maybe Grandpa John had thought if he kept her busy she wouldn't have time to think. In a way he was right, but it also left her feeling suffocated and resentful.

With a sigh she pulls herself up, glancing at the clock on her wall. She steps down the hall, careful not to wake her sleeping grandfather. She gets a drink of water from the kitchen, her eyes catching the glimmer of John's keys hanging by the door.

In that moment she decides she'll go crazy if she has to spend another minute in that house. She slips on a pair of boots and grabs the keys from their hanger, letting them jangle in her hand as she sprints as quietly as possible to the white truck in the driveway.

She unlocks the door, an invigorating rush of adrenaline pumping through her veins as she hops into the driver's seat and starts up the ignition.

Dark, untamed road stretches out in front of her as Nina messes around with the radio dial. She settles for a classic rock station as she continues to drive to nowhere in particular-she's not sure where she's going but she has half a tank to do it.

Eventually Nina runs out of road and ends up at the coast. She parks the Ranger where grass meets sand, grabbing a blanket from behind the passenger's seat to wrap around her body.

The only light she's provided is by the moon peeking through the clouds. The ocean is as still as glass, the horizon nearly indistinguishable from the surf. Nina shivers.

Her boots sink into the sand, making an unpleasant squelch as she walks. She's startled by the sound of howls echoing from the forest. She breathes in the salty air and finds that somehow she isn't afraid.

She moves closer to the water's edge and watches the gentle ebb and flow of the dark tides. She lifts her head—the night is full of stars.

Another howl rips through night, closer now. Nina decides she's stolen enough peace from the quiet beach and makes her way back to the truck.

. . .

Nina swears under her breath as she pulls up to the driveway. The living room light is on.

There's a man standing on the porch, arms folded over his chest. It takes her only a moment to realize it's not her grandfather. He gives her a quick glance before turning to open the door and disappear into the house.

She shuts off the engine and takes in a shaky breath, unsure what awaits her behind the door.

When she enters the house John is perched on his favorite recliner with the man from the porch standing off to the side.

There's a long drag of silence before John clears his throat.

"If you want to borrow the truck all you have to do is ask, Nina."

"I'm sorry." She lowers her head. "I just wanted to get some air."

"It's not safe to go out alone at night. You're lucky Sam was able to see you out there to keep an eye out and come tell me."

She turns her head to look at the tall, muscled man. She hadn't seen anyone else on that beach, but it was dark—she could have been mistaken.

"Thank you, Sam." Nina says quietly, an unsettling feeling in her gut. John nods in dismissal, radiating some serious mafioso vibes, and the young man turns his attention to her.

"Be safe, Nina." Sam's gaze is heavy, there's something in his eyes she can't quite read. "Goodbye, John. Have a good night."

Sam leaves and Nina is hit by an instant pang of guilt. She watches her grandfather reach for his walking stick and shakily rise from his recliner.

"I'm sorry," She tells him once more, a frown settled on her lips. "I won't do it again."

"No, you won't." He sighs. "Would you like some hot chocolate? It gets cold at night this close to the coast."

"Um, yes. Please." She watches in confusion as he moves around the kitchen.

He places two steaming hot cups of cocoa on the kitchen island. She takes one, warming up her hands and inhaling the aroma. It's been a long time since she's had hot chocolate.

"Nina." He says her name in an exhale. She can feel the disappointment and frustration. "I know I said you could finish the year with that online program but I think it's best if you go to the reservation school in the fall."

"I…" She tries to find a valid excuse, but can't. Instead she just sips her cocoa and nods. "Okay."

"Okay?" He gives her a small smile.

"Um, Grandpa John?"

"Hm?"

"If I asked what Sam was doing on the beach, you wouldn't tell me, would you?"

Her question seems to have caught the older man off guard but he quickly regains his composure.

"No, Nina. I wouldn't."

Just as she thought, there was something strange about La Push.

. . .

The next day Nina sleeps through her alarms, but the extra hours of rest are so rare that she doesn't mind. She rubs the exhaustion from her eyes as she lets out a yawn.

She would think the night before had been a dream if it weren't for a laugh from downstairs.

"She stole your truck? This is why I told you to hide your keys."

"Unnecessary then and unnecessary now."

The first voice is gritty and griseled, like an aged cowboy. The second voice is definitely Grandpa John. She guesses he must be meeting with one of the other council elders.

She hovers at the stairs, unable to move but unable to stop listening.

"Not unnecessary… Kids rebel, that's just how they are." The unfamiliar voice says.

"Sam's boys found her at the beach. Luckily they thought to follow her home and make sure she was safe."

 _What?_

How had they followed her? And who was _they_?

Nina wracks her brain for answers, her breath coming out labored at the thought of being followed and having no idea. How could Sam have gotten to the house before her if she hadn't even seen a car?

What the hell was going on?

She hears the back door creak open and the two older men greet the newcomer.

"Quil, how was patrol—"

The voices quiet abruptly, a silence enveloping the house. Nina wants to peek down the stairs to see what caused the change but is interrupted by her grandfather's voice calling out from the dining room.

"Nina?" His voice is louder than it had been before, as if meant to reach her room. "Why don't you come down for lunch?"

Her heart races as she clutches the stair rails. Did they know she was there? How?

Without speaking, she lingers for a moment before walking down the last remaining steps and entering the room.

"Hi, grandpa." She greets him in a small voice, barely above a whisper. She eyes the teenage boy in their living room, wearing nothing but a pair of cargo shorts.

There's an ornate tribal tattoo on his shoulder, and she swears she's seen it before.

"Nina, this is my friend Quil Ateara, and his grandson—"

"Quil Ateara. The fifth." The boy speaks up with a smirk, but the amusement on his lips doesn't quite reach his eyes. His glance is scrutinizing, it's as if he's sizing her up.

"It's nice to meet you." She says for the hundredth time. All she had been doing since she came to La Push was meet new people. She was beginning to feel like a sideshow curiosity.

(Come one, come all, dare to be amazed by the little orphan girl.)

Nina wordlessly eats one of the sandwiches Old Quil had brought, listening to the conversation at the table. It feels a little bit like déjà vu. Even if she doesn't speak the conversation goes on. Even if she doesn't want to be there the world still moves around her.

"Oh, I gotta go!" Quil jumps up suddenly, followed by the sound of shouting and laughter outside. "Seeya John, seeya grandpa."

"Be good, Quil."

"I will!" The boy promises through bites of a sandwich—his fifth, Nina had counted in amazement—before he disappears out the door.

Nina glances out the window, noticing two young men (also just as barely dressed) greet Quil with a playful tackle. The taller of the two boys is vaguely familiar to Nina, though she doesn't remember him being one of the many guests in their home the past week. It feels as if she's known him longer than that, maybe from when she came to visit her grandparents over the summer as a kid.

On each boy's shoulder is the same tribal tattoo. Her eyebrows furrow as she realizes where she had seen it before: on the arm of Jacob Black.

"That tattoo," Nina speaks suddenly, catching the attention of the two elders at the table. She meets her grandfather's eyes with a knowing frown. "Ah, another thing you can't tell me?"

"Maybe one day," Old Quil muses, his voice deep and rich.

She drowns out the old men's continued chatter as she watches the tall boy run off with the others.

. . .

Even if it may seem uneventful, Nina has created a routine for herself.

She wakes up, works on her homework, and takes a nap or two. Sometimes she'll read one of the old weathered books on a shelf in her room. Most of this routine is accomplished without changing out of her pajamas.

On a particularly warm day, Nina sits curled up on the sill of the bay window, a book dangling in her fingers. She looks out the window, a tiny almost smile on her lips—anto April rain had coated the thick green leaves in a magical luster. The trees glisten in the late spring sun.

She notices a figure in the tree line, tall and tan and lean.

The condensation on the window creates a foggy haze as she watches him pace back and worth. She can't look away, transfixed by the boy below.

Her mouth opens in confusion as he pulls his shirt from over his head, and then just as suddenly takes off his shorts. He stands naked in the clearing for a moment, slivers of sunlight bouncing off of his well defined back.

Nina begins to lower her head, feeling guilty for spying when a flash of movement catches her eye.

A gasp leaves her lips, her hand pressing against the window in disbelief, as she watches man transform into beast.

She blinks, hard, wondering if she's finally lost it. She barely sleeps, she barely eats, it would make sense for her eventually crack and start hallucinating… She opens her eyes again, just in time to see the giant wolf launch itself into the treeline.

Her eyes narrow as she notices something in the grass—where the wolf had been now lays a pile of clothes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Requiem**

* * *

 **THE FOREST CALLS TO HER.** Nina is drawn in, against her will, down the stairs and off the porch. Her bare feet press into the damp mossy floor as she walks. She's in search of something, she just isn't sure what.

Her aimlessly wandering brings her to a clearing, a large fallen tree blocking her path. She takes in a slow breath, the air is fragrant from a recent rain.

She can't shake the feeling she's being watched. She moves closer to the dead tree, placing her hands on its bark. Teetering on her toes, she attempts to look over the trunk. It's too tall, she decides. She'll have to go around.

Nina turns, a flash of red reflected in the tree line—a pair of eyes. With renewed purpose, she tries to climb the tree, scraping her hands and knees. She lets out a grunt as she tumbles over the edge, falling onto her back on the other side.

A howl echoes through the clearing, the figure of a large wolf appearing from the trees. She can see the wolf's head just barely over the tree, its yellow fangs bared. Nina swallows, scrambling to get back onto her feet.

 _Run_ , she screams at herself. _Run, Nina_.

She starts into a sprint, unsure how much of a head start would matter against the wolf. Her head tilts back to look behind her. The wolf has begun to follow, scaling the fallen tree as if it were nothing.

She runs terrified through the unfamiliar woods, barely able to see what's in front of her. A glimmer of hope fills her fear-addled mind as slivers of light become visible through the trees.

She makes it off of the forest, clutching onto her chest as her lungs burn. She glances back, unable to hear the wolf in pursuit.

As the adrenaline wears off, Nina's whole body aches. She knows she has no time to stop, she has no idea if the wolf could appear again.

Her battered and sore feet pad against the asphalt of the suburban neighborhood in front of her. A relieved smile forms on her lips as she recognizes the rows of houses. She counts the numbers on the curb, trying to find her own.

She reaches her childhood home at the end of the road, her heart aching at the comforting and familiar sight of her mom's Land Rover in the driveway.

She begins to jog up to the house and stops. Her heart drops when she sees the door cracked open, memories flooding back to her. There's a voice inside her head yelling, begging, for her to turn back but she keeps going.

The door creaks open, and Nina steps inside. Her eyes widen, a horrified scream peeling from her lips.

Blood…

There is _so much_ blood…

Nina's eyes snap open. Her skin is slick with sweat. She pants as she surveys her surroundings. She's back in her room in La Push.

She unclenches her fists, the palm of her hand stinging where her nails had bit into the skin. She's safe. It was just a dream.

No.

A nightmare.

Nina calms herself down with deep, ragged breaths. Her throat is raw and uncomfortable—she needs water.

With a light groan she drags herself up into a sitting position and inspects her feet as they hit the floor, perfectly comfortable in her fuzzy socks. No sign of dirt or blood. She makes her way down the hall, the stairs creaking as she moves downward.

She all but runs to the fridge, grabbing a bottled water and gulping it down. It's icy and almost painful as it makes its way down her throat. She lets out a sigh of relief as she tosses the bottle into the cardboard box that had turned into their makeshift recycling.

Taking another bottle for her room, she rounds into the next room from the kitchen and is greeted by a group of wide eyed faces. At the dining room table sits Grandpa John, a game of dominos, a half-eaten pizza on top of two other boxes, and Billy and Jacob Black.

Nina stares awkwardly back at them, sure that she doesn't exactly look presentable enough for company. Her hair had been tied into a bun before she slept and was by now a sweaty bird's nest at best. She's in a pair of pajamas she hasn't bothered washing for a while, on top of being a sweaty mess from her previous night terror. Not to mention she had just _chugged_ a bottle of water.

Overall, Nina looks like an alleyway dumpster not even the local raccoons would go near and she is not feeling super great about that fact.

"Um, I need some fresh air." She croaks out, crunching the water bottle in her hand as she makes for the door.

"I'll go with you!" Jacob offers, crossing the distance between them a little too quickly. She gives him an apprehensive look as she ducks out the door, his foot catching it before it closes. "It's dangerous at night, ya know?"

Nina raises a brow, walking off by her own as he jogs behind her.

"Why dangerous? Because of the wolves?" She asks jokingly, holding her arms tightly around her torso. Jacob stops, looking at her for a long moment.

She returns his gaze, studying him. He's taller than her, just like every other guy on the rez seems to be, with beautiful deep copper skin. His shoulders are broad, balancing out his otherwise unnaturally muscled body. She knows he's her age, but he looks like a twenty-five year old underwear model. In comparison to her own disheveled look, her self-esteem does an absolute nose dive.

"Hey, Nina…" He starts slowly, clearing his throat.

"Yes, Jacob?"

"I wasn't sure if I should say anything but, uh, I heard you. When you were, uh, screaming." The sudden change of subject is jarring. Nina steps back in shock. "John said you've been having these dreams… I guess I just wanted to tell you that my, um, friend went through something similar. She said, eventually, the dreams go away."

His eyes are focused on the ground—he's all but talking to his shoes. Nina feels her blood boil in anger and embarrassment.

"Your friend went through a _similar thing_?" Nina scowls back, an eyebrow maliciously raised. "Your friend's parents were brutally murdered and now she can't close her eyes without seeing them, mutilated, because she was the one who found the bodies?"

"No!" Jacob breathes out in horror. She can see on his face he instantly regretted his words. "No, I'm so sorry, Nina. I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, you shouldn't have." Nina hisses, turning on her heel to get anywhere that Jacob Black isn't. She feels almost thankful she had avoided and pushed away the other kids in La Push, if this was the kind of invasive and unnecessary conversations she'd be forced to have.

"Where are you going?" Jacob calls after her as she gets closer to the tree line.

"For a walk!" She wishes the wolf from her nightmare would emerge and rip her to pieces so she wouldn't have to get nagged at anymore.

"You know your grandpa is worried about you!" Jacob yells, his voice getting closer. "I'm just trying to help you!"

"I don't need your help, Jacob! I don't need _anyone's_ help."

"I know, I heard you talking to John." He taunts, catching her off guard. "We've all gone out of our way to be nice to you, but you don't give a fuck about anyone here!"

His words stop her in her tracks but she refuses to turn around.

"I didn't say that…" Her eyes sting with unshed tears. She feels tired and angry and confused. Nina turns her body, looking at him pleadingly. "I don't want to be here, okay? I just want to go home!"

"Then go home!" Jacob growls back, something changing in his eyes.

Nina stumbles on a fallen branch as she moves away from him. She hadn't realized how far into the woods she had gone—she's reminded of the beginning of her dream.

The tension in the air is bitter and electric, like moments before a lightning strike. She curls into herself, gripping onto her knees as she watches Jacob struggle with himself.

"Jacob!" A voice booms from the trees. Nina recognizes it almost immediately as Sam Uley.

Sam comes into view flanked by two other familiar figures: Embry Call and Jared Cameron. She stares wordlessly as Embry and Jared pull Jacob aside. Sam holds out a hand and she takes it, allowing him to help her to feet just in time for Billy and John to come out from the house.

. . .

After the incident in the yard, John and Billy had invited her to attend the tribal council's meeting and the telling of histories.

John had told her in the most John way possible that if she didn't start getting involved with the community in La Push then he wasn't sure what to do with her. And because she'd heard that same cry for help enough times before (from aunts, from uncles, from fosters, from social workers…) Nina made a decision she'd at least _try_.

The mood around the bonfire is strange. She can see the tension in the elders' faces as they sit together on their lawn chairs, joined in a crescent moon and building the foundation of the circle.

She can't help but notice Sam and a few of the others are missing. Among the Quileutes, Nina notices a newcomer next to Jacob. The girl stands out with her pale skin and noticeable dark under eyes circles, but despite what others might call sickly, she has a charming and unique beauty.

Nina finds a seat on the ground near her grandfather, scuffing her sneakers against the sandy grass as she watches the flames dance. A shadow emerges in front of her and she looks up to see a vaguely familiar face.

The girl, with short hair and lovely full lips, sits beside Nina. They watch the fire, and the others around it, in silence. But it's not an awkward silence, not at all. It's… easy. Comfortable.

"Your mom… she was a really nice woman, I remember from when I was a kid." The girl speaks up first. Nina quietly turns her head to look at her as her chest squeezes painfully in anticipation. "Your dad, too—my dad always said good things about growing up with him."

Nina studies the girl's face as she stares ahead, recognizing the pain in her eyes. Leah Clearwater. This must be Leah Clearwater.

"I'm sorry about Harry." Nina says quietly, watching the flicker of surprise in Leah's eyes. "My dad said he was a really good man, too."

Just as they had before, Nina and Leah sit together, their gentle moment of understanding only interrupted by Jacob Black sauntering up to them.

Jacob gives Leah a disparaging look before turning his attention back to Nina.

"What is it, Jake?" Nina sighs, staring past him absently at Emily and Kim's two-woman hot dog roasting operation.

"I wanted to apologize." He starts, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry, Nina. I was a huge idiot."

She glances up at, all his sins forgiven a day ago when she actually took the time to think about their fight.

"I need to apologize, too." Nina admits with a small frown. "I was a huge-er idiot."

"No, Nina, I…"

"We get it!" Leah snaps harmlessly. "You're both idiots."

"What I was going to say, is that it's not like I don't understand why you want to push away." Jacob finishes, glancing at Leah. "I won't pretend to know what you've been through, but I did lose my mom when I was a kid. So I do get the feeling of your world being turned upside down and missing them every damn day."

Nina looks at him breathlessly.

"I didn't know, Jake." She chokes out, wanting to reach forward and comfort him. (She did know, if she had taken the time to really care. She had heard the story once from John.) "I didn't even think about it. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's okay." Jacob smiles, and her stomach does a funny little dance. It's impossible to view him the way she had the other day.

"I… I just need time." Nina says, beginning to tear up. She tells herself it's the smoke from the bonfire but she knows it isn't.

"You can have all the time you need." Leah reassures her, giving Nina a tiny smile before being called over by her mom and brother.

"I'll be here for you if need me, and not just because my dad asked me to look out for you." Jacob adds with a laugh once Leah has gone. He pulls her up almost effortlessly, and wraps her into a hug. For some reason Nina finds herself leaning into him, resting her head on his incredibly warm chest. He's actually… very warm, she notices, but tells herself it's because of the fire.

Jacob pulls back and flashes her another smile, his skin glowing like molten bronze from the light of the fire. He's beautiful.

"Jake, are you ready?" The pale girl calls out from a few feet away, with Embry and Jared at her side. "I don't have a lot of time before I have to get back to Edward."

"Yeah, just give me a sec!" Jacob turns back, ruffling Nina's hair. "See you later, Powell."

"See ya, Jake." The words come out breathlessly as she watches him run over to the girl. She sees the way he looks at the frail brunette and hates the way it makes her own stomach twist.

"So have you decided to talk to people now?" Jared asks as he walks up to her, receiving an elbow from Embry. "Ow!"

"Who is that girl?" Nina ignores him, unable to take her eyes off of the two figures.

"That's Bella." Jared flourishes her name in an almost mocking tone.

"Chief Swan's daughter." Embry adds, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Ah, Charlie's daughter. Nina narrows her eyes.

"Is she like, dating Jake?"

"Oh, he _wishes_." Jared scoffs.

"Jared, shut up." Embry groans, giving Nina a concerned look. "They're just friends, Bella's got a boyfriend."

Nina nods in understanding, her eyes wandering back to the other side of the fire.

"Dammit, Paul, you're eating all the hotdogs!"

There's an uproar as the tall boy Nina had seen earlier in the yard throws his fists against his chest in victory, the last remains of a hotdog bun peeking from his lips.

He glows in the fire, they all do. The way the orange light gleams on his bare copper chest, he looks like a god.

Nina finds herself glancing at Bella and Jacob again, wondering what kind of friends looked at each other the way they did.

And then her eyes flicker to Sam who must have arrived at the same time as Embry and Jared. He had positioned himself in front of Emily, as if protecting her from anyone who might abuse her kindness and steal the rest of the food she'd been working to roast all night. (Paul seemed like the most likely suspect for this.)

Slowly, the mood shifts and the elders begin to speak. The younger members of the tribe and their guests slowly rejoin the circle. Nina moves to sit closer to Leah, watches as the older girl's eyelids drift shut. She finds her own eyes closing as Old Quil's voice, as smooth and aged as leather, lulls her into a beautiful and strange reverie.

She's gently woken by a hand on her knee, Sue Clearwater smiling down at her.

"Did you have a nice sleep, dear?" Sue smiles as Nina blinks up at her, sitting up to see the dark road ahead engulfed by the forest.

She raises her head to see Grandpa John driving and Old Quil in the passenger's seat. She doubts anyone in the beat up station wagon could have lifted her.

"The Lahote boy carried you." Grandpa John answers her unspoken question, glancing at her from the rearview mirror. "You two would play together during the summer, do you remember?"

She remembers.

Paul Lahote, glistening in front of the fire all tall and lean with bright white teeth and a strong jaw.

The wolf from the woods who stalked purposefully through her dreams.

The boy from the yard, who she couldn't quite place.

They were all the same.

Maybe it was because the Paul Lahote she remembered looked less like a bronzed Adonis and more like a scrawny little kid. The Paul from her memories was a little lost boy who was filled with rage after his parent's divorce and took it out on her by pulling her hair and pushing her off the swingset.

Nina looks down at her hands with a bitter taste in her mouth. She couldn't explain her lapse in reality, she couldn't explain a lot of things. (Maybe it was just hallucinations brought on by grief.)

All she knew was that the Paul from her memories _definitely_ did not transform into a giant silver wolf.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: In Our Blood**

* * *

 **WALKING UP TO THE SWAN'S RESIDENCE FELT STRANGE.** It had barely been twenty-four hours since Nina had become aware of Bella Swan's existence and now here she was standing at her front door.

As with any disturbance in her life the past month, Grandpa John was responsible. Apparently John, Billy, and Charlie had all coincidentally met at the tackle shop and came up with the idea of getting together for dinner.

"Nina!" A welcoming voice shoots straight to the heart. Nina looks up and Sue Clearwater wraps her into a hug, not even moments after she had entered the house.

"Hi, Sue." Nina replies back with a smile, inhaling the older woman's comforting scent. Sue pulls back and Nina tries not to let out a disappointed mumble.

Sue turns to greet Grandpa John, and with perfect timing Billy and Jacob arrive. Once the elders had settled into the living room, Sue brings her attention back to Nina, who had found herself awkwardly sitting in the corner.

"Nina, dear, why don't you go see if Bella needs a hand finishing up dinner?"

Nina stares up in shock, and Grandpa John seems to catch onto her distress signal.

"Oh, Sue, I'm not sure about that." Grandpa John lets out a hearty laugh. "Nina isn't much of a help in the kitchen."

"No!" Nina protests a little too quickly, catching Jacob's glance before looking up again at Sue. "I can, uh, chop something. Or stir. I'm okay at stirring."

Followed by a trail of laughter that doesn't make her feel better about her abilities, Nina wanders into the kitchen. Bella tilts her head to look at her as she enters, wiping her small hands on her apron.

"So, I heard you can stir." Bella gives her a tiny smirk. "I'm Bella, by the way. We haven't actually met yet."

"Nina." She nods back, moving to stand closer to Bella's little workstation.

"Notice how they didn't send Jake to the kitchen?" Bella's brown eyes twinkle as she hands Nina a wooden spoon. (There's a grunt from the other room that Nina chooses to consider coincidental.)

"Yeah. Old school." Nina sighs, taking the spoon and holding it with no real purpose.

Bella proves to be a formidable kitchen manager, giving Nina a bag of premixed salad, an already diced tomato, and a box of croutons. Nina dutifully combines all of the ingredients together, careful not to crush the crouton with her wooden spoon.

"What about dressing?" Nina murmurs, looking up from her creation. "I know salad usually has dressing."

"Charlie likes Ranch, Sue likes Italian, and Billy likes Thousand Island." Nina stares at the bowl in horror, unable to imagine how all three of those could work in one salad. Bella responds without missing a beat. "Just bring out the bottles, they can dress their own."

Nina nods, finding herself unexpectedly charmed by Bella Swan.

Jacob eventually tears himself away from the Mariners game to help set up the table. He glances at the salad bowl in Nina's hands and chuckles under his breath.

"What is it?" She frowns, moving the salad away from his judgment.

"Nothing, Nina, you did a great job." He gives her a soft elbow, which she very sternly tells herself is nothing to get excited over—still, her heart does a little jump. His attention is short-lived, however. "Jeez, Bella, be careful!"

Jacob practically leaps across the kitchen to catch the lasagna that had slipped from Bella's grip. Nina watches in horror as he takes the lasagna tray from her with his bare hands.

"Jake, that just came out of the oven. It's _hot_." Bella frowns, but it sounds more like a warning than something said out of concern.

Jacob and Bella share a look before he glances down at his hands.

"Oh, right. Ouch!" He moves to run his hands under the sink, though there is no real urgency in his movements. It's as if he's playing the role of a boy who has burned his hands. Bella seems satisfied with this performance and brings the lasagna back out to the table.

"Wow, that smells great, Bells!" Charlie exclaims once the rest of the food is set up. Nina places the three salad dressings on the table in front of her bowl. "And Nina, that salad, uh, looks really good!"

Jacob snorts, which he covers up with a cough. Sue gives Nina a pat on the back as she sits beside her at the table.

"Great job stirring, Nina." Jacob teases, which she responds to by little kicking him under the table.

The friendly mood slowly morphs into something strange and awkward. Grandpa John had innocuously asked about Sue's children, which had really started everything. Nina eats quietly as Billy questions why Sue had come to the dinner. Charlie quickly comes to her defense, saying it's a dinner for friends. Billy presses again and John softly suggests they discuss this at another time.

Nina glances at the other two teenagers who seem equally as uncomfortable at least—Jacob is all but squirming in embarrassment and Bella stares out the window, preoccupied.

"So, Nina," Jacob speaks suddenly, cutting into the adults' tense conversation. "I heard you took out the Ranger for a joy ride."

Nina blushes like a tomato, nearly dropping the glass of water in her hands. She reaches out to poke him with her fork, but looks around the table and decides against it.

"How the hel— _heck_ —did you find out about that?" She hisses.

"Oh, it's true?" Jacob smirks, probably feeling very proud of himself. "People were just saying…"

The table is once again consumed by conversation but Nina still can't understand how Jacob had known about that night. John most likely hadn't told anyone but Old Quil, but maybe his grandson had heard. Would Sam have said anything? Nina gnaws her lip, feeling uneasy.

"Nina?" She raises her head as her name is called out, meeting Sue's kind brown eyes.

"Hm?"

"I asked how your schoolwork was going, I heard that you've been taking online classes."

"Ah, it's going really well. It's the same program I've been in all year." Nina responds with a small smile. With the constant moving from relative to relative, it had just made sense for Nina to homeschool herself. "I'm also done, just like a regular high school."

"That's good to hear, dear." Sue tells her genuinely.

"My advanced algebra class has been kind of hard, though." Nina admits, unsure why she's saying this. Something about Sue Clearwater makes Nina want to tell her everything.

"I can help." Jacob offers, almost as reparations for teasing her earlier. (But Nina doesn't forget so easily.)

"Haven't you been getting tutored by Bella all year? I guess you just wanted an excuse to see her." Nina shrugs, giving a quick apologetic glance at the other girl across the table for getting her caught in the crosshairs.

Jacob flusters. Nina doesn't miss Billy and Charlie's stifled laughter.

"Where did you hear that? You _just_ moved here."

"People were saying," Nina sticks out her tongue.

This time Grandpa John redirects the conversation to fishing, and Nina once again finds herself zoning out. She watches Bella, who has sort of curled into herself as she watches the clock on the wall.

Jacob stiffens, as if noticing something no one else has.

"I have to go." Bella stands suddenly, quickly bussing her plate to the kitchen. Her eyes go from the clock to the window outside facing the street. "Sorry, Charlie, I told you I had to leave early. I promised Alice I'd meet with her to discuss grad party stuff."

Charlie lets out a sigh as Bella goes up to her room to grab her bag.

"Okay." Charlie murmurs in resignation. "Okay, Bells, just don't be out too late."

Nina studies Jacob face as a complex emotion crosses his features. She glances at Billy, who is similarly unhappy with the development of the evening and the mention of the mysterious Alice.

"You don't have to go." Jacob tells Bella, his voice low. He wraps her in a tight hug, as if he doesn't want to let the petite brunette go.

"Jake." Bella sighs his name, a hint of frustration in her voice. She turns to Nina, putting on a tight smile. "It was nice to meet you, Nina. Bye Charlie, bye everyone."

There's a chorus of goodbyes as Bella walks out the door. Nina gets up to stand next to Jacob at the window, watching Bella retreat down the sidewalk. A car is parked in front of the house—Nina doesn't know enough about cars to know what make or model but she does understand it's a really nice one. The kind of car high schoolers usually don't drive.

A girl gets out of the car and the sight of her causes Nina to gasp. The girl has pale, nearly white skin and dark hair. She's beautiful, stunningly, inhumanely beautiful. Her movements are graceful and measured as she bounces toward Bella, escorting her into the car.

"Who was that?" Nina whispers as the car drives away. She isn't sure how to explain the unsettled feeling in her stomach. Maybe Bella isn't the lasagna master she had believed her to be, after all.

"Alice." Jacob scowled. Nina realizes she hadn't imagined his look of disgust earlier at the table before Bella had left.

"Alice." Nina repeats in the same hushed voice, peering up at Jacob. He usually radiates heat, but it feels as if he's become even warmer. "Jake, why does she kind of freak me out?"

Jacob looks down at her, a bemused smile on his face that doesn't quite match his eyes.

"It's in our blood." He murmurs, and then, so softly that she almost misses it: "We see through their appearances."


	5. Chapter 5

_(A/N: Brace yourself...)_

 **Chapter 6: Eye to Eye**

* * *

 **NINA WOKE IN A COLD SWEAT,** her hands trembling in fear. She had the nightmare again, the one in which Paul-no, the _wolf_ -chases her through the woods. She still somehow came back to Seattle, she still found herself reliving that night. Only one thing had changed.

It was Alice Cullen covered in her parent's blood.

. . .

"Nina, are you okay?" Jacob peers up at her from a textbook she doubts he's touched in months.

"Yeah, of course." Nina gives him a small smile, setting down her own workbook. The numbers were just running together at this point. "I'm just getting kind of bored. Why are we actually studying again?"

Jacob lets out a hearty laugh.

"Hey, it was your idea!" His laughter is infectious and she finds herself quietly laughing with him. His eyes turn on as he throws his book onto the table, his expression growing serious. "I'm glad you called, though. It's like you knew I needed to distract to myself and get my mind off things."

"Yeah," She breathes out, hating how happy his simple words make her feel. "It's like I have superpowers or something."

"No, I don't want you to have superpowers." He frowns. "You're just... Nina."

She nods in quiet understanding, her hopes crushed as quickly as they had been raised. She would only ever be _just Nina._

"So how is school at the rez, by the way?" She changes the subject to give herself time to nurse her bruised ego. "John's sending me there in the fall after the truck incident."

"You mean the grand theft auto incident?" Jacob smirks back at her. "School on the rez is fine, you'll definitely know everyone's business-and they'll know yours. Everyone is also, like, your cousin. Small town stuff."

"Yeah, small town stuff." Nina sighs, tapping her fingers against her knee. At her school in Seattle she could go an entire day without seeing her friends if they didn't have a class together. She frowns, reminded suddenly of everything that she had lost.

"What's with that expression?" Jacob asks softly, most likely noticing her abrupt change of mood. She's slightly ashamed for being so transparent, but also incredibly grateful that he cares enough to ask.

She knows very well that many people would be too overwhelmed by her emotions to bother asking her how she feels. No one wants to party with the girl with the dead parents.

"Do you want to go to the beach?" Nina raises her chin, the thought randomly popping into her head. The beach is the only place she's felt at peace since moving to La Push-the only place she kind of feels like herself again. Jacob gives her a questioning look. "I think I'm just getting stir crazy from being inside my room all the time."

He gives it a moment's thought before finally agreeing.

They quickly pack up their things and tidy up the dining table. Nina glances out the window to the front yard, noticing the Rabbit isn't outside.

"You didn't drive here?" She asks, remembering that she hadn't heard the engine when he arrived. It was like he just... appeared.

"Ah, no. I walked, since I was close by anyway." Jacob explains untidily, but she doesn't have any reason not to believe him.

"We'll take the Ranger then." Nina answers with a decisive smile, reaching up for the keys.

"You have permission?" Jacob teases as he follows her out the door.

"Yes, smarty-pants. Grandpa John said as long as I'm just driving in the area and it's during the day I don't need to ask." They hop in and Nina starts the ignition. Jacob reaches for the radio, absently messing around with the dial. Other than the alternating sounds of disco, yacht rock, and billboards hits, they ride in silence.

Jacob is sitting right next to her but somehow he feels miles away.

Nina remembers his words earlier, about needing to distract himself. She notices him fidgeting with something in his other hand, but doesn't get a good enough look at it.

The beach is empty when they arrive, even though it's the middle of summer. Nina hops out of the truck and unties her sneakers. She balls up her socks and stuffs them into the shoes, throwing them in the bed of the truck.

"What are you doing?" Jacob lets out a bemused laugh.

"I want to feel the sand on my feet." Nina answers simply, smiling back at him. He looks unconvinced.

"What if you step on broken glass?"

"Then I'll get a tetanus shot!" She all but giggles, running down toward the shore. The cold waves lick at her bare toes, it's a tickly but pleasant sensation.

Nina pulls out the scrunchie that had been holding up her bun and lets her hair fall loosely down her shoulders. She spreads her arms out and inhales the saltwater air. A smile slowly blooms on her lips, and for first time in a long time she feels free.

"Your crazy." Jacob calls out. Nina tilts her head back, searching for him. There's a grin on his lips that sets her heart on fire.

 _"You're beautiful,"_ she wants to say, but doesn't.

Jacob joins her and they walk up and down the shoreline. She can tell there's something on his mind, he's toying with the same object from earlier. In the sunlight she can now see that it's a bracelet.

"I did something stupid today." Jacob murmurs. She wants to snarkily point out that he's always doing stupid things, but there's something in his eyes that stops her. "I, um, kissed Bella."

"You what?" It's like the air has been knocked out her lungs.

"She was obviously mad, so she punched me. And, uh, broke her hand." Jacob rubs the back of his neck as he chuckles humorlessly.

"You can't just kiss people if they don't want you to." Nina sighs softly. "Plus she has a boyfriend."

"I know." Jacob frowns, his brows furrowed as he relives the moment. "Her boyfriend found out when I dropped her off at her place and threatened to kill me-Charlie heard almost everything."

"I'm sorry, Jacob. That's... a lot." Nina sighs again, still trying to process everything. Her heart beat increases as she thinks about how she wishes he had kissed her instead.

Nina stops walking. She turns to watch the waves come into the shore, her arms crossed in front of her chest. Jacob moves to stand next to her and they share a strained silence.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, studying her face. Nina bites her lip at the intensity of his gaze.

"Y-yeah." She responds, her voice coming out more shakily than intended.

She's an idiot. She's a huge, big, dumb, stupid idiot. Jacob is head over heels for Bella, not her.

 _Bella._

"Are you sure? You look sick."

"I'm fine. I promise." She laughs uneasily. "It's just that, Jake, you're amazing. You deserve someone who sees that and won't just lead you on and take advantage of your kindness."

Jacob narrows his eyes at her in thought.

"You think Bella takes advantage of me?"

"No, I..." She has a hard time denying it, but she knows she shouldn't be talking about another girl like this-jealousy isn't cute. Her chest feels tight.

And then Jacob throws his head back, his body momentarily consumed in a deep and booming fit of laughter. It feels strangely similar to when he had burned his hands.

He calms down, wiping his eyes to look at her.

"Sorry, I was just messing with you."

Nina scrunches her nose at him, reaching out to smack him on the arm. Her hand stings as if she'd struck a brick wall.

"Ow, dammit." She murmurs. No wonder Bella had broken her hand on his stupid face-his body is made of solid steel.

Jacob grabs her hand, inspecting her fingers with a careful eye. He's probably making sure there isn't a repeat from earlier. Nina pulls back from his touch, scared of her own beating heart.

He responds by closing the distance again, staring down at her. He's like a mountain towering over her.

"Thank you for being my friend." He tells her huskily, his voice barely above a whisper. She doubts she would have heard him if he weren't less than a foot away.

"Are we friends?" Nina muses with a wry smile, but her hands are shaking. He's so close.

"Of course we are." He smirks, and in a strange gesture of friendship he playfully presses his forehead against her own. Nina blinks up at him in a daze, his chest is nearly touching hers. There's no space between them now.

Nina feels like her heart will explode. Jacob watches her, a confused expression on his face. Slowly, and she wonders if he even notices it, he begins to lean toward her.

"Jacob, I..." Nina finds herself looking at his lips, and then all thought and apprehension goes out the window. She closes the distances, pressing her lips against his. His eyes widen, but he kisses her back, resting a hand gently on her hip.

It's sweet and warm and wonderful. She knows it's wrong, she knows it's stupid. But Jacob is an amazing kisser and it's not like she's been making the best decisions lately anyway.

Nina pulls away, attempting to catch her breath.

"I'm sorry." Jacob apologizes quietly as she looks at him with a frown. Her heart aches at his expression, he doesn't have to look so damn ashamed.

"No, Jake. I'm sorry, I thought you..."

"I did, but we can't. It's not fair to you." He lowers his head, kicking at the sand with his boots. "I have to go."

"What do you mean go? I drove us here."

"I'll walk." He replies gruffly, turning to walk away. She stumbles after him in shock, her eyes stinging with tears.

"Jake, I'm sorry. Please, don't go like this. We can just forget it."

"Nina," He says her name through a sigh, but keeps walking.

She catches up to him with a huff. She feels like a dumb girl but if she loses Jacob she isn't sure what she'd do. She's already lost way too much.

"I like you, okay? I know how you feel about Bella, but I like you." She tells him honestly, her voice cracking. "Please, just don't hate me."

"Nina, I don't hate you." His voice is as smooth as velvet. He turns, reaching out to her gently. He cradles her face in between his warm, warm hands.

She stretches up onto her toes, as if she hadn't learned her lesson the first time. Her entire body tingles with desire. His tilts his head down and she can see herself reflected in his eyes. For a single, crazy, fleeting moment she feels like the only girl in the world.

Jacob looks up suddenly, startling Nina. If it weren't for her grip on his t-shirt she would have fallen back onto the grass. She releases her grip and Jacob pulls away.

Nina follows his line of sight to see Jared standing beside Paul. She realizes this is her first time actually seeing Paul face-to-face since she had moved to La Push. It was as if they had been circling each other in orbit, never actually meeting. Until now.

Their eyes lock and Paul's entire body seems to tense up. His fists clench as he hesitantly looks from her to Jacob.

She stares at Paul in a trance, unsure how to describe the jolt of energy carried by his intense gaze.

"No. No, you gotta be joking." Jake watches in disbelief as Paul steps forward. It's as if every muscle in Paul's body had become wound and taut, like a strained rubber band ready to spring.

Paul looks at her once more, his eyes filled with a mixture of anger and confusion. And then just as abruptly as he arrived, he turns around and runs back into the woods. Nina stares after him breathlessly.

"What was that?" She murmurs, unable to describe the strange sensation in her chest.

She watches as Jared and Jacob exchange a meaningful glance.

"Great, more drama." Jared grumbles before launching himself after the boy who had been standing there only a moment before.

Jacob swears under his breath, running his hands through his hair. His face is contorted in pain or frustration, maybe both.

A howl rips through the fading daylight.

"Paul..."

His name leaves her lips without even noticing. There's an emotion she hadn't heard before from the wolves that roam the woods. This howl is filled with devastation and sorrow.

She isn't sure what the hell has just happened, but she knows it couldn't possibly be good.

. . .

"There's a letter for you." Grandpa John informs her as she walks down for breakfast in the morning. "It was left in the mailbox."

She glances at the envelope, her name written on the front. She lets out a small exhale, recognizing the handwriting from carefully scrawled notes and formulas. She opens the letter as she grabs a cup of coffee, having a strong feeling she can't do this uncaffeinated.

She nearly drops her coffee as she begins to read.

 _Nina,_

 _I can't see you for a while... It's just better for everyone that way._

 _I promise to explain everything to you one day._

 _I'm sorry._

 _Jacob._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Something Stupid**

* * *

 **JACOB HAD KEPT HIS PROMISE.** Nina hadn't seen or heard from him since that day at the beach.

He told her they were friends, he told her he would be there for her. She trusted him. She had decided to take a risk, but was left feeling like Icarus, plummeting down to the ocean with her melted wings.

The rejection stung.

And now Nina finds herself outside of the Clearwater home, drumming her fingers against the steering wheel. She isn't sure what exactly lead her to the Clearwater's of all places. Maybe she wanted to see if Sue had baked a fresh batch of chocolate chip cookies.

The front screen door swings open to reveal Leah, wearing a tank top and cut off shorts. Nina hops out of the truck, walking toward the porch.

"What are you doing here?" Leah asks, the beginnings of a smile on her face.

Nina shrugs, but she knows why. After all of the weirdness and suffocation, Nina just wants someone to be around who won't treat her like a fragile little thing. Leah seems to accept her non-answer, and holds open the door for her.

As soon as Nina enters the house she's hit with the scent of chocolate chip cookies.

"Your mom's here?" Nina asks, peering toward the kitchen.

"You just missed her." Leah rolls her eyes. "She brought cookies over to Charlie's, but she left a few here if you want one."

"I do." Nina answers a little too quickly, laughing at herself. Leah takes her to the kitchen where they find a plate on the counter loosely covered in cling wrap. Nina helps herself as Leah grabs two cokes from the fridge.

"Let's go to my room." Leah suggests, grabbing a cookie. "I can't stand being here for too long."

Nina nods, following Leah up the stairs. Leah's room is small and unsurprisingly looks a lot like her own, even down to the fleece quilt.

They sit on the bed because there isn't really any where else and crack open the tops of their cokes. Nina eats her first cookie almost immediately, though she tries to pace herself for the second one.

Leah shows her the record player she had found at a resale shop a couple years ago. Nina helps her pick out an album and they paint their nails as if plays.

"Emily actually bought me that record player." Leah admits after a while. "I wasn't going to get it but she surprised me the next day. I almost smashed it with a baseball bat, but how could I?"

Leah lets out a lofty sigh as she swipes a deep purple polish across her toes. Despite what everyone says about Leah, Nina can't help but just see a normal girl trying to live her life.

"Do you want to go do something stupid?" Nina asks suddenly, fanning out her hands to let the red polish dry. "Like, we could go get a tattoo or go to this bar in Port Angeles I heard doesn't card?"

Leah hesitates, raising an eyebrow at her.

"I really shouldn't be leaving La Push right now."

"Why not? Because it's unsafe?" Nina frowns. "The _world_ is unsafe, Leah."

The bed squeaks as Leah shifts uncomfortably. Nina can almost hear the other girl's brain whirring to try to come up with excuses.

"Nina, you don't get it. There's something I can't tell you." Leah comes up with finally, pursing her lips.

Nina scoffs.

"There's always something I can't know. Please, Leah, I don't want to be here right now."

"Nina..."

"I didn't want to bring this up but it's actually my birthday today, okay? And I'm so full of memories of my parents and the way my life used to be that I feel fucking sick."

Leah's eyes soften, her hand reaching out to hold hers in understanding.

"Okay, it should be fine if I'm with you." A smirk grows on Leah's lips. "Let's go do something stupid."

Nina grabs one last cookie before they jump into the Ranger. Leah says she'll give directions, an offer that Nina's grateful for. She hasn't actually been to anywhere other than Forks since the move.

"This feels good," Leah tells her, her arm leaning out the window. Her cropped bob whips wildly in the wind. "No one's in my head telling me what to do, I don't have to have Sam and Emily's perfect little happily ever after shoved down my throat."

"Yeah, it does feel good." Nina gives her a sad smile, tightening her grip on the steering wheel. There's something to be said about escaping, about driving along the wild forested road and leaving everything behind.

The first thing they do when they get to Port Angeles is find a tattoo shop. Leah vetoes the first one they see, disliking its _vibes_ , but says the second one should be fine.

Nina flips through her options, unsure what she actually wants now that she's here. The artist marvels at the tribal piece on Leah's arm as the older girl vaguely dismisses all his questions.

"Can I, um, just get my ears pierced?" Nina asks eventually, a laugh bubbling on her lips that is quickly echoed by Leah. She's brought to a leather chair that's seen better days and Leah holds her hand as the piercer places the needles through her ears.

"Does it hurt?" Leah whispers, fascinated.

There's a dull throbbing but other than that, nothing. Nina shakes her head as she looks in the small mirror to admire new earrings, a pair of simple gold studs placed above the piercings she had gotten done at the mall when she was thirteen.

Their next stop is a smoke shop, where Nina buys a box of cigars. They sit in the truck bed with their backs to the cab as they light up the cigars.

The air is filled with the acrid scent of tobacco.

"This is actually kind of terrible." Nina admits with a cough.

"Yeah, it is." Leah chokes out with a smile. "It tastes... awful."

They laugh, falling against each other in the small space. Nina glances at the bar they had parked down the street from, a sense of dread settling in her stomach.

"I don't actually want to go to that bar, it looks like the beginning of Dateline story about two beautiful girls from La Push getting chopped into a hundred pieces."

"Good thinking," Leah hums in amusement. "Then what about that cafe on the corner?"

Nina nods, crawling out of the truck bed with Leah's help. They walk to the cafe, an adorable hole in the wall that smells like incense and freshly roasted beans.

With a deep inhale, Nina lets the scent of her coffee refresh her palate. Leah seems to do the same as they drink their lattes in a comfortable silence.

"I'm glad we decided to get out for a little while." Leah mentions quietly, holding onto her mug. "You probably already heard, because there is no such as privacy in La Push, about the whole Sam thing. He and Emily got engaged recently and things have just been weird."

Nina gives her a sympathetic frown.

"All those guys seem weird, if you ask me. Especially Paul."

Leah smirks knowingly.

"Especially Paul?"

Nina studies her expression carefully, deciding that for whatever reason, Leah likely knows exactly what happens. She fidgets with her hands, just thinking about that day gets her frustrated.

"He acted so weird the other day. I have no idea what the hell happened." Nina bites her bottom lip, the look in Paul's eyes burned into her mind.

"According to Jared it looked a lot like you almost kissing Jacob Black." Leah teases in turn, and Nina covers her face in embarrassment.

"Okay," She murmurs from in between her fingers. "That is _maybe_ what happened. But I still have no idea what's up with Paul."

"Paul is... well, he's Paul." Leah sighs, drinking the last of her latte. "But he's not all that bad. You'll find out pretty soon he's more than just a hot-headed piece of work."

 _"Yeah,"_ Nina scoffs to herself. _"He can also turn into a giant freaking wolf."_

After finishing their drinks, the two girls decide to head back to the Ranger and end their adventure for the night. Nina wraps her arms around her body, feeling the chill of the night air. Leah bristles, suddenly on alert.

"Walk faster." The older girl tells her in a harsh whisper.

"What's up?" Nina does as she's told, her voice just as hushed.

"I have a bad vibe, that's all."

Leah swears under her breath as two men appear, smelling strongly of booze and holding paper bag covered bottles. The taller of the two lets out a whistle.

"Hi ladies, you look like you really enjoy a party."

"Piss off," Leah all but growls, standing slightly in front of Nina.

"That's no way for a pretty little girl to talk." The shorter of the two laughs, holding up his bottle. "How about a drink to loosen you up?"

Nina's heart pounds against her chest. She regrets ever getting them into this mess in the first place. Leah nearly shakes with anger, spitting onto the ground in front of him.

"Why you don't you go and shove that—"

Nina lets out a gasp as the shorter man lunges with the bottle. She braces herself to be hit but Leah catches the bottle midair, raining alcohol and broken glass onto their heads. Without missing a beat, Leah kicks the man and sends him falling back onto the ground.

The taller man calls them every name under the sun as he swings at Leah. She dodges his fist and lands a jab to his head, knocking him out.

"Oh my god, Leah." Nina murmurs in shock, having crouched behind the older girl.

"Did I scare you?" Leah turns to look down at her, eyes filled with concern.

"That was _so_ _cool!_ " Nina shakes her head in disbelief, deciding that Leah is kind of her favorite person in the world. The moment is quickly interrupted by sirens and Leah swears.

Despite describing everything to the police officer—they didn't drink, it was poured on them, it was all in self-defense— they're still brought to the station to make a statement.

Nina finds herself clinging onto Leah as they wait in the station, curled up with a blanket given to her by one of the officers. Apparently the two men had been positively identified as repeat sex offenders, which made Leah basically a life saving superhero.

Charlie Swan comes to the station to pick them up, which Nina finds strange but understandable. He asks if Nina is okay to drive, and even though she's a little shook up he drops her off to get her truck.

"Sam is going to kill me." Leah sighs, her head resting on the window as they drive back to town followed by the Forks Police cruiser.

"I'm so sorry, Leah." Nina murmurs. It had all been her stupid idea. She drops Leah off at the Clearwaters before heading back to the cabin.

Grandpa John is sitting at the dining table when she gets back.

"You smell terrible."

"I know." She frowns, moving closing to the table. Her whole body feels like it's made out of jelly.

"At least you asked to borrow the truck this time." John laughs humorlessly. "Happy birthday, Little Bird."

She starts to tear up despite herself, memories flooding back with the old nickname. John directs her to sit, and gets up to take a cake out from the fridge.

"It's not much, but I remembered you like chocolate." He says, setting it down in front of her. He pats at his shirt pockets. "Ah, I need matches."

Nina sheepishly offers the Bic she'd bought earlier for her cigars and John takes it with a sigh. He lights the candles, telling her he won't shatter the windows by trying to sing.

"Thank you," Nina sniffles, wiping furiously at her eyes. She blows out the candles, the smoke stinging at her nose.

"Oh, I almost forgot..." John stands abruptly, wobbling toward the living room. He places his hands around his mouth before shouting. "Paul!"

Nina stares at her grandfather in confusion as he rejoins her at the table, cutting three slices of cake—one noticeably larger than the others. The back screen door swings open and suddenly a shirtless Paul Lahote is making himself comfortable across from her at the table.

"Well, it's late. I think I'm going to have mine in my room." Grandpa John and Paul exchange a look. "You kids have fun. We'll talk in the morning, Nina."

Nina gawks after him as he hobbles down the hall and up the stairs, his walking stick thumping against the wood. Once alone, Paul wrinkles his nose at her.

"I _know_." She hisses.

"I didn't know it was your birthday." Paul hums, likely deciding not to push it—as if _that's_ what is off about this scenario. He wastes no time in digging into the cake in front of him. He gives her a quick glance and a lopsided little smirk. "Happy birthday, Nina."

"Thanks, I guess." She lets out a sigh, scooping up a frosting rose with her fork and sticking it into her mouth. "What are you even doing here, Paul? We haven't spoken since we were like, thirteen."

"I just wanted to see you." He shrugs nonchalantly, making her choke. His eyes light up in concern as he watches her. "Do you want some milk?"

Nina watches as he dashes to the fridge, pulling out a jug. He grabs a glass from the drying rack and fills it up. She stares in shock at the glass in front of her, offered by the stupidly chiseled (and endlessly confusing) Paul freaking Lahote.

There's something still bothering her, more than another aspect of Paul she doesn't think she has the sanity to get into at the moment.

"Okay, I'm not trying to start a fight but you pushed me off of a swing when I was ten. So you can see why I'd be suspicious of your motives." Nina sips at the milk before setting it down on the table. Her eyes widen in horror as Paul casually picks up the glass and takes a drink. "Ugh, gross! Why didn't you just pour two cups?"

"It's a waste." He shrugs, wiping off the milk mustache with the back of his hand. "And I'm sorry I pushed you. Eight years ago."

"You pulled my hair, too. And kicked sand in my face." Nina adds, grimacing at the memory.

"I did?" He chuckles, not seeming very remorseful. "I'm sorry about that, too."

Nina crosses her arms over her chest, unconvinced.

"Why are you really here, Paul?"

"John invited me to stay over while my old man's out of town for a few weeks. He also mentioned you conveniently were in need of someone to keep you out of trouble."

"Like a live in babysitter. Great." Nina rolls her eyes. "I don't need you look out for me."

"You were literally arrested for getting into a bar fight today."

She purses her lips into a thin line, unable to argue even though she wasn't _technically_ arrested and it wasn't _technically_ a bar fight.

"Wait. So you're gonna be, like, _staying_ here?" She asks quietly as the pieces fall into place.

"Guest bedroom." He grins at her. "Let's take good care of each other, neighbor."

Nina nearly falls out of her chair as the bastard has the audacity to _wink_ at her.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Hunger**

* * *

 **IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE LINGERING STENCH OF ALCOHOL AND CIGAR SMOKE,** Nina would have believed last night had been a dream—not quite a nightmare but still bizarre, surreal, silly, and a little scary. She steps out into the hall with a grumble, regretting not showering the night before. She had been so exhausted she let herself fall into bed. She makes a mental note to wash her sheets.

As she reaches for the bathroom door handle, she finds it locked. Her brows furrow as she jiggles it again, wondering if it's just stuck (in a house as old as Grandpa John's, it's possible).

"Just a minute!" A deep voice calls out, causing Nina to step back in surprise.

The door opens to reveal the most unexpected aspect of her dream-like evening: Paul Lahote. He's shirtless, but when is he not? Nina has slowly become used to the sight of muscled up young men, or has at least started to treat it as a pleasant regularity. The cause for the blood rushing to her cheeks, however, is a less common state of undress. Paul leans against the jamb of the door, his hair damp, droplets of water glistening against his chiseled chest, and a towel precariously wrapped around his waist.

She turns away with a blush.

"All yours," Paul tells her. She peeks up in time to catch a smug, self-aware smirk on his obnoxiously handsome face. He moves past her into the hallway, their shoulders brushing together so unnecessarily that Nina suspects he did it on purpose.

"Choose your battles, Nina." She whispers to herself as she closes the door. She swears she can hear Paul chuckle from the guest bedroom.

Nina holds onto the edge of the counter. The reflection in mirror stares back at her with wild hair and tired eyes—almost a stranger. It's been so long since she took the time to really look at herself. People always told her she was a perfect mix of her parents: her mother's almond-shaped eyes, her father's high bridged and stately nose, her mother's unruly waves. Even her skin, though closer in shade to her mother's, had the rich undertone of her father's.

That was probably the root of why she hated catching even glimpses of her own reflection, why she turned away whenever she brushed her teeth or combed her hair. Because it was like she wasn't looking at herself anymore, she was looking at _them._ She knew that other than the photographs or the hand-me-downs (all things so easily burned, all things that didn't mean anything in the end), that her reflection was the only thing she had left to remind herself that they had ever been around at all.

Nina shakes her head, taking in a deep breath. She refuses to spend another day crying and wallowing in her own grief.

She turns the faucet and pulls back the shower curtain, ready to wash off the night before and begin again.

. . .

There's something off about the house as she walks down the stairs. She isn't immediately sure what it is, but can't stop the sense of something being _off._

"Grandpa John?" She calls out, hearing someone rustling around in the kitchen.

"Nope, just me." Paul responds, holding up a piece of paper as she enters the room. It's scribbled with familiar handwriting. "John went to the marina with Billy."

"Oh, awesome." Nina mumbles, shuffling further into the kitchen. No John meant no bacon and pancakes. She frowns in disappointment, trying to figure out what she'll eat to tide herself over until her grandfather's inevitable return with fresh seafood.

"You smell a lot better." Paul pipes up from beside her, pulling a carton of orange juice from the fridge and pouring himself a glass. He offers but she shakes her head, choosing to ignore his comment (as if she wasn't perfectly aware). She turns to the coffee maker instead, noticing the usual aroma isn't there. Her frown deepens as she inspects the empty pot.

No coffee either.

Realization hits her. That's what had been off: the scent. No hot breakfast, no freshly brewed coffee. All scents she had become accustomed to in the morning. It's an almost lonely feeling.

"Did you not use the hot water? That shower was scalding." She mentions nonchalantly as she once again weighs her food options. She lets out a little sigh as she reaches for the bag of bread on the counter, untwisting the tie and throwing a couple of slices into the toaster.

"Nah, I like a cold shower to really jolt me awake in the morning." He responds proudly.

She watches Paul continue his search through the cabinets as she waits for her toast.

"What are you doing?" She asks finally, exasperating by the repeating opening and closing of cabinets. She smirks slightly at his lost expression.

"Trying to find something to eat. Cereal, anything."

"We don't have cereal. Grandpa John always makes a hot breakfast in the morning." Nina gestures to the beat up but faithful appliance in front of her. "You could have toast."

"There was eggs and bacon and stuff in the fridge, we could cook that." Paul mentions, rubbing his stomach over his t-shirt (but that doesn't stop her from imagining what she knows to be rock solid washboard abs).

"You could." Nina looks at him. She feels both sheepish and unapologetic at the same time, and isn't sure quite how. "I can only make toast, and even that's kind of a fire risk."

Paul balks at that.

"You can't cook?"

"Not every girl here is a freakin' Betty Homemaker ready to meet your every need." Nina rolls her eyes. "You're obviously useless, too."

"Let's go to the diner, then." He suggests, glossing over her quip.

"No, I made toast."

"But I'm hungry." Paul all but whines, and she notices how close he's gotten to her. Has the kitchen always been this small?

"Just go by yourself then." Nina snarks back, but her rumbling stomach betrays her. She looks guilty at her toast as it pops up with a ding. A small sigh leaves her lips as Paul watches her expectantly. "Fine. Give me a minute to dry my hair."

. . .

Paul is waiting for her when she steps down the stairs. He notices her and his lips curve upward. Nina bites her cheek, trying not to smile back at him.

"So how do you plan on getting to the diner?" Nina asks, looking away under his heavy gaze.

Paul clears his throat.

"Well, I don't have a car... I usually just bum rides off of others or walk everywhere."

Nina stares at him, pressing her tongue to the roof of her mouth to stifle a laugh.

"Wow." She deadpans, grabbing her purse and John's keys from the hook by the door. "How cosmopolitan of you."

Thankfully John had been picked up by Billy, which meant that the Ranger was still there. Paul follows behind her dutifully as she locks up (more of a Seattle habit than a necessity on the rez).

"I'm turning into the La Push chauffeur." Nina smirks as she pulls away from the house. Paul shifts in the passenger seat next to her, filling the small cab with his earthy and heady scent. Like soap and nature.

Paul sniffs lightly at the air.

"Yeah, it smells like the whole rez has been in here."

"My, what a good nose you have." Nina muses without thinking.

"Hm? Nah, it was just a joke. You know, like the Ranger has seen better days." He tries to correct his slip up but Nina's too busy accidentally imagining him dressed like a grandmother in a bonnet and mumu. She doesn't challenge his excuse—Nina isn't ready to talk about the proverbial wolf in the room (or car), for any number of reasons.

1\. She isn't sure how Paul would react to her knowing his furry little secret.

2\. She hasn't decided if the aforementioned furry little secret poses any danger to her.

And, more importantly:

3\. She still isn't completely convinced the whole wolf thing wasn't just the result of a psychotic break.

Paul opens the door for her when they get to the diner, which she tells herself is basic manners and nothing for her heart to be freaking out over. They're lead to a table near the back and Paul sits down, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

"Don't worry about money, this is on me." He tells her offhandedly, browsing the menu.

Nina raises a brow.

"And why is that?"

"I'll be eating the most anyway."

"Right. But why wouldn't I pay for my own?"

"It's my treat." He groans. "Like a birthday present. Just accept it, Nina, jeez."

"Well, when you offer so sweetly." She rolls her eyes, scanning for the most expensive items. The Hungry Trucker Combo. Perfect.

The waitress comes by to take their order and Paul wasn't kidding when he said he was going to be eating the most. Watching the waitress keep up with Paul's long order makes her feel a little silly for her anticlimactic act of revenge. The young server, probably a Fork High student, returns with a steaming cup of coffee and Nina grins in anticipation.

"No milk or sugar?" Paul watches with a horrified expression as she takes a sip of the fresh brew.

"Nope." Nina shrugs. Growing up in Seattle meant getting to drink some seriously good coffee, and Nina had learned along the way that there was plenty to appreciate in a roast without having to add anything extra. She glances at Paul's second glass of orange juice for the day. "Not a coffee fan?"

"Nah, it tastes gross and I don't really need the extra energy." He smirks at her and she rolls her eyes again.

"I'll take your word for it."

Their food is delivered, another server having to help bring out the plates. Actually seeing her own order makes her feel guilty, realizing there's no way she could eat it all. She glances up at Paul, guessing he would probably take whatever she didn't want.

She tries to focus on herself for the rest of the meal, but it's hard not to watch Paul eat. She wonders what kind of damage he'd do at one of those restaurants with free food challenges. Like maybe a five pound burger or those jumbo ramen bowls. She figures he could easily pack away a giant deep dished pizza or a bucket sized ice cream sundae.

Paul raises his head, meeting her glance. She looks away immediately, feeling embarrassed for having been caught staring. Her cheeks heat up.

"So I was thinking about the swingset and hair pulling thing. I'm sorry, Nina. I don't want you to think it was a personal attack or anything, I was just through a rough time and beat up on everybody back then." He laughs slightly. "Ask Embry."

Nina turns slowly to look at him again.

"I never said I didn't know why you did it." She gives him a small smile at his more sincere apology.

"So John said you like to read. What's your favorite book?"

"I'm not going to have awkward small talk with you, Paul." She frowns, looking at her half-eaten breakfast. "Would you like the rest of this?"

"Sure." He nods, shoveling the rest of the food in his mouth as if he hadn't cleaned up three plates on his own.

She realizes in horror that the next few days could be filled with the same awkward conversations. It's not like she lives a busy life, and she doesn't even have schoolwork to distract her now. If she wants Paul off her back she'll have to figure something out.

As they drive back, she can't help but look at the businesses they pass by, wondering if they're hiring. Her eyes linger on the library, where she remembers spending a lot of time during the summer. She had volunteered back in Seattle, maybe she could volunteer here.

"Would you mind dropping me off at Emily's?" Paul breaks the silence, rubbing his mysteriously flat stomach.

"Yeah, that's fine." Nina keeps her gaze focused on the road, knowing it isn't doing her any good to keep glancing at him from the corner of her eye. She's still amazed by the amount of interactions they've had within a twenty-four hour period, especially after not even looking at each other for the month she'd been in town.

"Have you ever had Emily's cooking?" She shakes her head. "Emily's an amazing cook, and she'd love to meet you. You should come over sometime."

"Why would she love to meet me?" Nina murmurs. Paul shifts around his seat. Eyes on the road, eyes on the road, eyes on the road.

"Uh, because she's nice?" He falters unconvincingly.

Nina lets out a sigh.

"I'd feel uncomfortable going if it wasn't her directly inviting me."

"Why are you so damn difficult?" Paul huffs at her, crossing his arms over his broad chest.

Nina shrugs, deciding it's better to ignore him. And she isn't sure, really. Why _is_ she so damn difficult?

With Paul's directions, given to her in a hushed and still-irritated voice, she pulls up to Emily's house. She puts the car into park, staring ahead over the dashboard.

"Are you just going to drive off?" Paul asks in surprise after unclicking his seatbelt. Her brows furrow together.

"Yeah?"

"You could, uh, come say hi."

She tilts her head to stare blankly at him, wondering if it's part of some elaborate scheme to lure her to Emily—if this is even Emily's place.

"Is this a trap?" Nina deadpans, watching him from the corner of her eye.

"What?" Paul laughs in disbelief, shaking his head. "Forget it, I forgot you love shutting other people out."

 _Ouch._

"Bye, Paul." Nina frowns. She all but pushes him from the truck, leaning over to slam the door behind him. She drives off, tears pricking at her eyes. She curses under her breath. "Damn it, Nina, I said no crying today!"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: The Deep**

* * *

 **PAUL HAS YET TO RETURN.** But Nina doesn't find the time to notice his absence, instead busying herself reading on the porch and taking advantage of the rare sunny day. She can almost fool herself into believing he'll never come back again.

The crunch of tires on gravel interrupts her reading. She sets down her book as a small smile unknowingly forms on her lips. Grandpa John emerges from the familiar truck, with Billy and Old Quil in the cab. Nina helps him pull a covered bucket from the bed of the truck, water sloshing noisily as she brings it back into the house.

"Did you have a good trip?" Nina asks without looking up, turning all her attention onto carefully placing the bucket onto the kitchen counter. Old Quil and Billy seemed to be in a hurry to leave, but she doesn't mention that. (She knows it more than likely has something to do with her.)

"I did." Grandpa John proudly beams, pulling the lid off of the bucket to reveal several dungeness crabs. Nina listens as he excitedly recounts each vivid detail of the catch, the creases in his old face deepening with each hearty laugh.

"Let's have a crab boil tonight." Nina suggests. "To celebrate your hard work."

"Great minds think alike." John smiles. He gives her a gentle pat on the head that reminds her of her childhood—and for the first time in a while that thought doesn't break her heart.

Grandpa John takes inventory of the fridge and pantry before deciding they won't have to go to the store for anything. With all ingredients out, he gives Nina careful instructions on what to chop (her newly honed skill) and sets her to work while the water boils.

"How's this?" Nina shows off her work with a bite of her lip. John half heartedly glances toward her and nods in approval. Something in his expression has changed.

A knot forms in her stomach and she feels stupid for letting herself forget so easily. The rancid taste of cigar smoke, the stench of alcohol, the cold steel of the police station. Strawberry birthday cake. The exhaustion and worry in John's eyes.

She readies herself for a lecture, or worse—an eviction notice.

"I heard you and Paul went out to breakfast." Grandpa John gives her small smile. It's just a slight quirk of his lip, barely noticeable, but it's enough to soothe her anxiety. "According to Thelma he damn near ate all the bacon and eggs in Clallam County."

Nina lets out a startled laugh. She shouldn't be surprised anymore by the high speed information sharing of small towns.

"You should have seen him…" She murmurs in awe at the memory, to which Grandpa John chuckles.

His expression shifts again and Nina swallows, placing her hands on the counter as if to brace herself.

"I'm not going to ground you, Nina—even if I should. I want you to go out, but _safely._ " John clears his throat as he turns down the burner on the stove. "Paul is a good boy, it would be nice if you spent more time with him."

Nina frowns.

"I don't need a babysitter."

"Maybe just a friend. Aren't you lonely?"

The answer is yes— _yes, yes, yes_ —but she refuses to admit it. Nina worries at her lip, looking away from Grandpa John's searching eyes.

Her stomach twists in knots, and she is painfully aware of two facts:

1\. The wall she has carefully built around herself is starting to crumble.

2\. In between the arguing and uncomfortable questions, she really did enjoy her breakfast with Paul.

. . .

Paul comes back in the evening, conveniently just in time to eat. He joins Grandpa John and Nina at the table, a carefree grin on his face as if nothing had happened earlier.

Nina eats wordlessly as John once again tells his crabbing story. Paul listens ecstatically, hanging onto every word. Of course Paul's shirt has somehow disappeared in between breakfast and now. She wonders if he had spent the entire day with Sam and the other Suspicious Shirtless Boys.

She doesn't realize she's been staring until Paul's deep brown eyes meet her own. He hums in amusement, maintaining eye contact. Nina feels her cheeks redden, but she finds herself unable to look away.

"Nina, are you alright?" Grandpa John comes to the rescue, and she rips her eyes away from Paul. She lets out a fake yawn, covering her mouth for added effect.

"I'm fine, just really tired. I think I'm gonna head back to my room." She gives her grandfather a tight lipped smile as she excuses herself from the table.

The heaviness in her chest is relieved once she finally closes her bedroom door, back pressed against the wooden frame. Nina lets out a sigh.

With slowed, clumsy movements she peels off her jeans and changes into a worn out old sweatshirt and flannel pajamas. She opens her door again and moves across the hall, peering around cautiously for any sight of Paul. Reassured he's still downstairs, she ducks into the bathroom.

She quickly washes her face, the cold water refreshing against her still flushed skin. A knock at the door makes her jump, splashing water onto the counter. Nina glares up at Paul, standing with a self-satisfied smirk. Deja vu.

He walks up beside her, filling up the remaining space in the cramped bathroom.

"What do you want?" She grits out, holding her ground.

"Me?" Paul eyes her oh-so-innocently. "I just want to brush my teeth. Dental hygiene is important, ya know."

"I know." She hisses, grabbing for her own toothbrush. "I'm in here now so you can come back when I'm done."

Paul reaches for the other brush in the cup, and snatches up the tube of toothpaste for good measure. He smirks down at her defiantly.

"Oh, did you want this?" He taunts her, squeezing out a glob of minty fresh toothpaste and rinsing it under the sink. Nina decides it's not worth the fight, following suit.

She swears he bumps into her on purpose. Reaches for the faucet at the same time on purpose. He's so close. It's like he's radiating heat.

Paul spits into the sink and wipes his mouth, glancing at her. He gestures to his lips and she stops herself from swallowing a mouthful of toothpaste.

"You've got a little something there."

She scowls.

(He's so attractive it annoys her.)

Paul is dangerous, she decides. Man or beast, she isn't safe around him or his charming lopsided grin.

…

The stairs creak under her feet as Nina wipes the beginnings of sleep from her eyes. She had woken up feeling thirsty, and was agitated to realize it was barely midnight.

There's a faint glow of blue from the living room. She fills up a glass of water, able to make out the sound of the news playing quietly. As she passes by she sees Paul sitting on the couch, cradling a bowl of cereal.

"How is he still eating?" She murmurs under her breath in amazement. Especially after she had watched him have seconds and then thirds at dinner. She's starting to really think he's a bottomless pit.

"Are you just gonna stare like a weirdo?" Paul calls out to her softly, not turning his head.

" _I'm_ the weirdo?" She frowns defensively, walking further into the living room. "Why are you even still up?"

"It's weirder for a teenager to go to bed at eight than it is to stay up watching tv."

"I went to bed at _nine_ , thank you very much."

The news ticker rolling across the screen in big white font catches her eye.

 _SUSPICIOUS DEATHS IN SEATTLE CONTINUE TO RISE…_

She sits wordlessly on the arm of the couch as she pays attention to the dolled up news anchor.

A string of mysterious murders in Seattle, originally thought to be the work of a serial killer but too disorganized. Brutal. Inconsistent.

Nina swallows.

Yearbook photos of smiling kids not much older than her or Paul flash on the screen. It all began with the disappearance of several Seattle teenagers last October, including Lilly Davenport and Riley Biers—Nina guesses they're the smiling All-Americans on screen. The news anchor suggests the killings are now believed to be the work of a ruthless new gang… Nina sucks in a sharp breath.

"Nina?" Paul says her name softly, in contrast to the slight sharpness in his expression.

"When did it get this bad?" She asks to no one in particular—maybe to Paul, or maybe to the teenagers smiling back at her on the news.

Paul smooths back his hair with his hand.

"You get it now?" His dark gaze is heavy, almost suffocating. Nina feels her breath shorten. "Things are… difficult, and dangerous. So your bullshit kind of has bad timing, not to mention it just stresses everyone out."

Nina looks away, eyes trained on the screen in front of her. She nods absently.

"I get it."


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Red**

* * *

 **THE NIGHT PASSES IN A STRANGE WAY.** Everything feels as if it is both sped up and in slow motion, distorted and surreal. Nina takes shallow breaths, afraid she'll drown. It's like she's underwater, her head held below the surface by some unknown force.

When she closes her eyes she can still see Paul's gaze, glowing blue from the light of the TV screen. She sees the faces of the missing teenagers, the rising death toll. Her parent's faces.

And then she's standing in the yard, a broom in her hand. Her grip tightens as she looks up to the grey sky, the tops of trees reaching up like fingers.

In the near distance she hears the chopping of wood. Paul's laughter booms intermittently between the thunder clap of the axe. The sound of the axe stops and she can hear the smooth, low chuckle she has come to associate with Grandpa John.

"Nina?"

"Yes, Grandpa?"

Nina moves around the side of the yard, ignoring Paul's eyes focused onto her. She steps back in surprise at the large pile of firewood stacked between the two men.

"Will you help Paul put the firewood up by the shed?" He clears his throat. "I would, but you know, my back."

"Of course." Nina stifles a laugh, immediately straightening up as she makes eye contact with Paul. She lowers her head and fills her arms with logs of wood, nearly sprinting to the shed. She turns her head to see Paul following behind her, carrying the rest of the logs. She lets out a shocked breath as the logs tumble from her arms and clatter onto the ground.

"Need help?" Paul teases, setting his own armful down with an inhuman effortlessness.

"I'm fine." She mumbles through gritted teeth, organizing the fallen firewood.

"Oh?" Paul calls out from inside the shed, a ball bouncing through the doorway shortly after. Nina stops it without looking up.

"Stop messing around, Paul." Nina toes at the soccer ball under her foot, a frown on her face. She kicks it back in his direction with a little more force than intended. Her eyes widen as Paul catches the ball in his hands before it can smack him in the face.

"Do you remember when we used to play as kids?" He asks without missing a beat. "We'd all play on the beach, but you were the only one who was any good. Do you still play?"

"No." Nina grounds out, her throat tightening with the sudden wave of memories. "I quit."

How could she play if she was no longer going to school? How could she play if her parents couldn't go to her games? She couldn't even look at her uniform without thinking about her mom carefully working out the grass stains on her nonsensically white shorts.

"Nina…" Paul all but whispers her name, reaching toward her in concern. She steps back.

"Stop asking me so many damn questions, Paul." She snaps, leaning against the wall as she feels her legs weaken. "And make up your mind—this whole being nice one minute and scolding me like a little kid the next is really messing with my head."

"Nina." His voice is stronger now, she can see his jaw clenching. But she'd almost rather see this Paul than the one who wants to buy her breakfast and brush their teeth together. This Paul she understands. His boiling anger, his clenched fists, his creased eyebrows. _This_ makes sense to her.

"I don't care what Grandpa John may have said, you're not my babysitter. Just because you're staying here doesn't mean you have to talk to me all the time."

Paul runs his hands through his hair as if to calm himself.

"Yeah?" He laughs humorlessly. "I doubt you'd say that if I was Jacob."

Nina blinks back the rage-fueled tears.

"Are you trying to hit on me or something?" She hisses, stepping back from the wall. She gives him space, still instinctively knowing not to corner him. "You heard about what happened with Jake and now, what, you think I'm easy? You just have to be a little nice to me and I'll follow you around like a love sick puppy?"

Paul narrows his eyes, but otherwise doesn't speak. She storms off, running back to the house before she could hear his answer. She shuts herself into the downstairs bathroom, locking the door.

She doesn't want to think the worst of Jacob—even if they barely knew each other—but she couldn't think of any other reason why he could kiss her and then completely ignore her. He probably thought she was just desperate and lonely and willing to throw herself at anyone who smiled in her direction.

And why else would Paul, who she _knew_ was a complete and total playboy, suddenly have so much interest in?

Nina chokes back tears, letting her body slump against the bathroom door like an insubstantial jello salad.

. . .

After a good cry and splash of cold water, Nina finds herself back with her broom. She would feel guilty, otherwise, after Grandpa John had insisted they help in the yard.

She sweeps the porch with half-hearted strokes of the broom, moving a pile of dust and fallen leaves from side to the other. Paul and Grandpa John had disappeared from sight hours ago, something Nina was thankful for.

She's starting to get tired of their routine. Fight, pretend they didn't fight, bottle up her feelings, fight again. And all of that with a whole bunch of _confusing_ in between. Nina lets out a small exhale, unable to see any end in sight. Not as long as Paul is always around.

Her chin raises at the sound of footsteps on the wooden porch. _Speak of the devil…_

Paul runs past her, opening the kitchen door with such force that it shakes the shutters as it closes behind him. She tries to process what she had seen, with only one thing sticking in her mind: blood. And a lot of it.

"Paul?" She calls out, following him into the house, her heart hammering against her chest. "Paul, what happened?"

She watches with widened eyes as he stands in front of the running sink, his once white t-shirt wrapped around his hand. She nearly faints at the sight.

"It's just a small cut." He reassures her, his voice suspiciously calm. "Don't worry, Nina, it's okay."

"Okay?" She rushes toward him, not sure why he's acting like she's the one with an open flesh wound.

She's still angry, she's still confused, but that doesn't stop the panic she feels seeing him hurt. It wells over her, uncontrollably, cancelling out any other feeling.

"I just need to wash off the blood, that's all." He runs his hands under the water as if to prove it to her. She moves closer, and Paul holds out a hand to stop her. "Seriously, Nina, I'm fine."

She grabs onto his hand, her eyes widening.

"It was this hand, right?" She looks at his perfectly unmarred skin. There's dried blood, but no cut. She grabs for his other hand, and notices the same thing.

She lets go and looks up at Paul, meeting his eyes. She steps away from him as a chilling realization travels through her body and causes her hair to rise.

Nina knows she can't escape it anymore. She can't keep pretending not to see what has so plainly been in front of her the entire time.

The wolf from her dreams was never a dream at all.

"Nina? Nina, I can explain."

"Explain what?" She asks breathlessly. "You were right. It was just a small cut."

She puts on a smile she knows isn't fooling anyone. She looks at his shirt wadded up on the counter, stained with red.

Paul narrows his eyes at her, a flicker of pain in his chocolatey brown gaze.

Nina nods.

"Of course."

"Then why do you look like that?" His voice is strained.

"Like what? I'm just tired." She lets out a yawn for effect, having walked herself nearly to the staircase in an effort to put distance between them. "I think I'm gonna go lay down."

He calls out her name but doesn't seem to move from where he stands. Nina runs up to her room, her heart beating nearly out of her chest. A terrifying thought comes to mind, a reason why Paul was always around: he knew that she had seen him that day and wanted to keep an eye on her… or worse, shut her up…

She slams her bedroom door behind her. She presses her ear against the wooden frame and listens, but he does not follow.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Wolves**

* * *

 **ANOTHER NIGHTMARE.**

It's the same as the others. A bone-chilling howl. Horrific splatters of blood. Her throat raw.

Paul's eyes.

Nina freezes. Terror renders her limbs useless and numb. She's awake, but the nightmare continues. Through the corner of her eye she can see a figure in the dark, watching her.

"Nina, it's me." Paul whispers, the worry evident in his furrowed brow and downturned lips. There's another emotion, too—one that she can't quite place.

"Why are you here?" She croaks out, her body slowly relaxing enough that she can sit up in bed. "Why are you in my room?"

"My name. You were whimpering my name."

Pain, Nina realizes. The emotion in Paul's eyes. Pain.

She swallows, hands gripping onto her quilt.

"I…"

"You don't have to explain," Paul interrupts softly. "I'd like to say something first, if that's okay."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, back in the shed. I didn't mean it, I was just angry—not that it makes it alright." He smooths his hair back with his hand. "And I'm sorry if I ever did anything to make you uncomfortable, or feel like…"

He pauses, his voice cracking. Looking into his eyes Nina realizes she was an idiot for thinking Paul would ever want to hurt her.

"Feel like what?" She asks softly.

"Like you were afraid to be around me." He frowns, his voice barely above a whisper. He looks up at her pleadingly. "Nina, why are you scared of me?"

Her breath catches in her throat as she meets his gaze.

"I saw you, Paul. From my window. You transformed." Nina looks away, not wanting to see his expression. "I blinked, and it wasn't you standing there anymore… it was a wolf. A giant wolf."

"You… saw me?" Paul asks in quiet horror.

"I'm not scared of you, Paul. I'm really not." She sits up straighter, leaning closer to the edge of the bed. "I was just confused. I saw you, and then suddenly you were everywhere. It was like you were keeping watch over me. I didn't know what to think."

Paul takes in a deep breath, as if collecting his thoughts.

"How long?"

"How long…?" She frowns in confusion before realizing what he's asking. "Since April."

"April? You got here in April." His voice raises in shock. He shifts in his chair, again running his hands through his hair before settling them on top of his thighs.

"I know," She supplies meekly. "I just thought I was crazy, I mean, I still think I'm crazy. I have no idea what any of this means and you haven't actually said anything about turning into a wolf or how you were totally fine even though I saw _so much blood_ …"

"Stop. Breathe." Paul cautiously moves to settle a hand over her own. She lets him. "Nina, you're right. I need to explain, I've needed to explain for a while apparently. I'm not good at words so be patient, okay?"

"Okay."

Paul takes another deep breath, squeezing her hand. She wonders if he even notices.

"You remember the legends, don't you? All the things the elders told us that seemed like scary stories and fairy tales?" Nina nods. "They're not just legends. We're descendants of wolves, of shapeshifters and warriors."

"We?" She already knows without asking. Everything that had seemed suspicious or strange starts to make sense. She should have figured it out earlier. Maybe she just didn't want to admit it.

"The pack." Paul answers simply. "Sam shifted first, he's our leader. Our alpha. Then Jared and me, followed by the others. There's magic in our blood, Nina. It's like a gift and a curse, to protect the tribe."

"Protecting the tribe from what?"

"Think back to the stories, Nina."

She blinks, her pulse quickening.

"The cold ones… They're real, too?"

"Unfortunately," Paul mumbles.

"The deaths in Seattle…" Nina begins to ask but her voice trembles, the question dying in her throat. Paul nods. "You were right about it being dangerous, you were just trying to warn me. Damn it, I feel so stupid for not believing anyone."

"No, I shouldn't have said that to you the other night." Paul glances at her apologetically, and she can see glimpses of the teenage boy beyond his muscled and mature exterior. "I'm sorry, Nina."

"Don't be sorry, it's not like you could have told me the whole truth anyway." She gives him a small smile, patting his hand with her other.

Paul looks at their hands, a wrinkle forming in between his eyebrows.

"Nina… there's something else I need to tell you."

"Can it wait? It's almost morning." Nina yawns, moving her hand to cover her mouth. She's tired, but mostly she's just overwhelmed. Overwhelmed and unsure how to process everything Paul has told her. Hurt flickers in his brown eyes as he pulls away his own hand.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, it can wait." He gives her an uneasy smile, standing up from his chair. "Goodnight, Nina. Sorry for keeping you up."

"Goodnight, Paul."

. . .

Other than furtive glances at the breakfast tables and over the bathroom sink, Paul doesn't make an effort to continue their conversation. Nina pretends the new information has returned everything back to normal, as if normal somehow involves her friends and neighbors turning into mythical creatures.

"Nina, you okay?"

Her head pops and she meets Leah's questioning eyes. Nina had let her eyes linger too long on the wolf dancing across her friend's smooth skin.

A gentle breeze rustles her hair, reminding Nina where she is. The rest comes back to her quickly. The sand beneath her feet, the sound of laughter as Paul runs around with the other boys on the beach. Leah walking beside her, the sun making a rare appearance and illuminating her bare skin like molten bronze.

She can easily make out Paul's laugh among the others. She tells herself there's no special reason. It's just that he's the loudest.

Nina watches as Embry tackles Paul into the sand. This seems to put everyone on edge, the situation diffused only when Paul's booming laughter again fills the salty air. She remembers his words about playing soccer as children. She does miss it, but she's not ready to admit it without feeling resentful. There's still a large part of her that feels guilty for even being alive, for smiling, for laughing, for being here when her parents can't.

Her chest tightens at the thought.

She can feel herself becoming short of breath, but it's probably just the unusually warm summer day.

"How can you stand this heat?" She asks Leah, a bead of sweat rolling down her temple. "Seriously, it's so damn hot…"

Nina blinks, a wave of nausea and dizziness crashing over her. Her legs weaken beneath her before giving out. She sees Leah's face contorted in concern as she reaches toward her.

And then… nothingness.

. . .

Nina feels herself move in and out of consciousness. She can hear the world around her but she can't speak. She can't open her eyes. It's like she's a ragdoll getting thrown around lifelessly.

"It's not possible, right?" Paul's voice, but strained. Panicked. "She's just sick, right?"

"She does have Ateara blood. On my mother's side." Grandpa John.

"But she's Paul's imprint! If an imprint can change, then why would Sam…?" Leah.

"Leah, can you not make everything about you for one fucking second?"

"Paul, watch it." Sam's voice, warning.

A shooting pain overcomes her, a groan escaping her lips. She wonders if they can even hear her. Her stomach feels like it's eating her spine. She's never felt anything like this before. It's like a period cramp from hell.

"She's in pain… She needs a doctor!"

"We can't take her to the hospital, Paul. We have to be prepared for the worst case scenario." Grandpa John sighs.

"The leech doctor, then. Bring the leech doctor here!"

The pain becomes unbearable and Nina feels herself drifting back out again.

. . .

"It's not the transformation." A beautiful voice, melodic, like nothing she's ever heard before. "She'll be fine but we need to bring her to the hospital for surgery."

"Surgery?" Paul all but howls.

. . .

When Nina opens her eyes again she's greeted by a searing whiteness. The hospital. She had been brought to the hospital.

As her vision adjusts she glances around, noticing the IV attached to her arm. There's a strange cotton taste in mouth. Her tongue darts out to lick her dry, chapped lips.

Beside her bed Paul is curled up on a chair he'd pulled over. He actually looks cute asleep, almost even innocent. Maybe it's just because he can't talk back.

"Good, you're awake." It's the same voice she had heard before, but now that she actually sees the man—his skin impossibly white, his eyes a disorienting amber, his movements almost too measured—she feels unsettled. It's as if he isn't real. Nina almost believes he's an angel and that she had died after all.

Paul scoffs in disgust, eyes still closed, and she realizes she'd said that last bit out loud.

"No, you're very much alive." The ethereal man speaks. "My name is Dr. Cullen, Nina. You were in incredible pain, weren't you? But fortunately your appendectomy was a success."

"Appendectomy?"

She stares up at him, eyebrows knit together. Of course. Of course that would happen to her right now…

"You'll have to stay in the hospital for a few days, just for monitoring. And then you'll be all ready to go."

"For a few days?" Paul speaks up, shifting in the chair. He exchanges a look with the doctor. "That's perfect timing."

Perfect timing?

Nina watches Paul in confusion as relief seems to settle in his features.

"A nurse will be by soon to update your chart if you need anything else." Dr. Cullen's hand brushes against her arm and she flinches.

He's cold, too cold.

Paul notices her reaction, his eyes narrowing as the doctor leaves the room. The chair scrapes against the tile as he moves it closer to her bed.

"How do you feel?" He asks, his eyes filled with concern.

"I feel weird." She answers honestly. She feels numb and sore and yet, kind of wonderful—probably the pain meds.

"Weird?" His pitch raises as his hand darts out to feel her forehead. "Do you feel hot? Stuffy? Angry?"

"Yeah, I do feel something…"

"What is it?"

"Annoyed."

Paul pulls away with a frown, crossing his arms across his chest as he sits back into the chair. Before he can say anything else Grandpa John enters the room, a bouquet of flowers in hand. Grandpa John is followed by Leah and Sue and then slowly Nina's hospital room begins to fill with anyone who could stand to make the trip.

"I gotta get going." Paul glances at her apprehensively, his chair long given up for one of the elders. "I'll visit you again, Nina."

She gives Paul a noncommittal smile and a wave, the drugs in her system lulling her toward sleep. She watches as he shakes John's hand before being pulled into a hug. John seems to whisper something into Paul's ear, but it's too loud for Nina to hear.

And just like that, Paul disappears through the crowded room.

. . .

She stirs in the middle of the night, woken by the sound of footsteps. Nina blinks back sleep as she watches Paul move through the dark room, illuminated only by the light in the hall. She still feels disoriented from the pain meds and the overwhelming sense of deja vu (except this time she isn't afraid).

"Paul?" Her voice is weaker than intended, it almost surprises her.

"I didn't mean to wake you up." He apologizes gently, crouching at her bedside. "I just wanted to see you before I had to leave."

"Leave? Are you coming back?"

Paul hesitates.

"Yes." His answer feels forced, unsteady. He swallows. "What would you do if I didn't come back?"

"I'd be sad… I'd miss you."

"You're high," Paul laughs.

Maybe she is, Nina thinks. Or maybe there really are tears brimming in Paul's eyes.


	11. Chapter 11

_(A/N: To give you a timeline check, this chapter occurs after the battle with the Newborn Army at the end of Eclipse. Also, thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed so far! I really appreciate all the support this story has received!)_

 **Chapter 11: Crazy Is**

* * *

 **NINA IS READY TO BREAK HERSELF OUT OF THE HOSPITAL BY THE SECOND NIGHT.** She gets increasingly antsy with the mind-numbing minutia of her hospital stay. She's reminded of her life when she had first moved to La Push, if she could call it a life at all. All she did was sleep and eat, and really not a whole lot else.

And, even though she'd never admit it—at least while she was in her right mind, Nina finds herself feeling the effects of Paul's absence. For the past week it had been nothing but Paul, Paul, Paul. He was everywhere. And if she was being honest, her life had revolved around him for much longer than that. Before he had told her the truth, Nina was in a constant state of worry and wonder where all things Paul Lahote were concerned.

She all but launches herself out of bed when she hears his voice in the hallway, speaking to a nurse. The same nurse comes in to give Nina one last check and to approve her discharge.

"Dr. Cullen isn't coming, right?" Nina asks, causing the nurse to look at her strangely.

"No, dear, Dr. Cullen is on family leave." The nurse studies Nina's face before a knowing smile forms on her features. "He's really something, isn't he?"

Nina balks at the assumption while the nurse hovers around, checking vitals and writing things down. Paul watches her carefully, exhaustion etched into his features. She bites her lip, wondering what he's been up to the past twenty four hours to give him that expression.

Paul tosses something onto the bed as the nurse leaves.

She gives him a questioning look as she inspects the contents of the plastic grocery bag: a pair of jeans, a sweatshirt, and a mini toiletry pack.

"What? Didn't you need a change of clothes?" Paul asks, but Nina only laughs.

"Did you do this, Paul?" Nina gives the bag a second look and laughs again. "Thank you, but Sue already helped Grandpa John put together something for me."

"Oh." He shifts his feet. "Why are you laughing?"

"There's no shoes, or underwear…"

Paul's face immediately turns bright red and Nina can't hold back her laughter anymore. She pauses, feeling a slight pain at her stitches. Paul moves to her quickly but she waves him away, telling him she's going to get changed and then sign her discharge paperwork. He nods and closes the door behind him. She can almost physically feel his presence on the other side of the door, standing there tall, protecting her. Like her own personal security guard.

Nina picks up the duffel bag Sue had brought over for her the other day, freshening up and getting dressed. She glances fondly at Paul's grocery bag, tucking it carefully away with the other clothes in the bag. She slips on her flats and turns to face the closed door.

"I'm ready to go, Paul." She says quietly, an experiment.

As expected, the door opens and Paul peeks through. His face has nearly returned to its normal color but his ears remain cutely tinged with red.

He follows her to the reception desk, patiently waiting as she signs all the tedious paperwork. She turns to catch Paul watching her again, the same forlorn expression on his face.

He wraps an arm around her shoulder, kissing the top of her head. Normally she'd deck him for the invasion of her personal space but instead it just leaves her with butterflies—and questions.

"Why are you acting like you just returned from war?" She asks, causing Paul to frown.

"Why are you so damn perceptive?" He mumbles under his breath in return, just loud enough for her to hear.

They walk to the outside of the hospital, Paul pausing. He opens his mouth as if to say something, then closes it again as if he had thought better.

"Paul?" She calls out, bringing him from his reverie.

"Hm?"

"Dr. Cullen scared me." Nina confesses, thinking back to the amber eyes that had haunted her dreams. "Like, really scared me. Is that normal?"

Paul lets out a throaty laugh that makes flowers, no, entire gardens bloom in her chest.

"It's smart, baby. That's what it is." He nods, laughing again to himself. "Smart."

Nina stops, staring at Paul in realization as they stand in the parking lot.

"Wait. How are we getting home?"

"I'm glad you asked." Paul beams, jogging a little further ahead. He stops in front of what can only be politely described as a death machine or less politely described as two toasters taped together with wheels. "Tada!"

"Paul… what the _hell_ is that?"

"My new motorcycle."

"And how the hell did that happen? Can you even drive?"

Paul frowns at her, kicking at imaginary dust on the pavement.

"My dad left it for me, said it'd be too much trouble to sell. I had a buddy help fix it up for cost of Leah's phone number and the rest is history."

 _History as in ancient,_ Nina sighs to herself. She reaches out cautiously to touch the bike, almost expecting it to fall apart under the pressure.

"Can you even trust that guy? Was he wearing a fake mustache or something?"

"I mean, he wanted Leah's number so maybe there's a few screws loose but his mechanic work is solid. I promise."

"I trust you, Paul." Nina lets out a sigh. "I will get on this death trap because I trust you. And because I know your dad gave it to you, so it must be important."

Paul sucks in a sharp breath.

"You know, you've never asked about my dad."

"I knew you'd tell me if you wanted me to know." Nina gives him a small smile. She realizes the hospital parking lot isn't the best place to have this conversation, but if this is where Paul wants to have it then she'll support him.

"I want you to know." He returns her smile, running his hand across the bike. "You probably already heard how I ended up in La Push with my old man. My mom ditched us and started a new family from scratch. It messed my dad up pretty bad. He got pretty heavy into drinking and classic rock cover bands."

"Where is he now?" Nina wonders, remembering the original reason Paul had given her for showing up on their doorstep.

"On tour. Probably drunk in a motel lobby wearing leather pants." He chuckles to himself. "I'm gonna head back to my place in a couple days. I don't want to make you feel suffocated."

"Paul, I don't feel suffocated…"

"So, are you gonna get on?" Paul interrupts her with a wink, tossing her a helmet. She looks up at him in surprise.

"This is crazy."

"Crazy is as crazy does, baby." Paul smirks again, straddling the bike with his muscular thighs. He pats the edge of the seat behind him. "C'mon, Powell. Saddle up."

"This is peer pressure, _Lahote._ " She mumbles, looping her leg over the bike with less ease than Paul. She'd have to really work on her sexy biker chick image.

Nina places the helmet over her hair and tightens the strap. With a deep breath she wraps her arms loosely around his waist, feeling his familiar radiant heat. She'll never get over how incredibly warm he always is.

Her grip tightens as the engine revs and Paul drives from out of the parking lot, the hospital quickly disappearing from behind them. She can feel his back muscles become taut as she rests her chin on his shoulder blade to protect herself from the wind blowing into her eyes.

The world zooms past them and Nina wonders if this is what must feel like when Paul and the pack run free. Completely free.

They pull into Grandpa John's property sooner than she would have liked. Paul kills the engine and helps her down, her legs still a little weak from the adrenaline and the fact that she had undergone surgery only days before.

"Oh my god," Nina breathes out, giving Paul a wide eyed and mystified stare.

"You hated it?" He frowns, packing away her helmet.

"No, that was _amazing_. I thought I was going to die, but like, in a good way."

Paul scoffs.

"Okay, yeah. You're never going for a ride again."

"No, I mean, I've never felt more alive!" Nina paws at him pleadingly, before realizing what she's doing.

"I got it, I got it." Paul laughs, ushering her back toward the house. "I still think it's best if you just stick to the Ranger for now, though."

"Don't try to stop me now that I've had a taste, Lahote." She smirks, whipping around to look at him. Her heart drops as she catches the sudden change in his expression. "Paul. Seriously, what's wrong? You've been making this sad puppy face all day any time you think I'm not looking."

"I need to tell you something." His tone is deep, heavy. Nina feels her breathing slow. "Jacob got hurt. It's real bad."

"Jake's hurt?" She asks in shock, her blood pumping in her ears. "Where is he? I need to see him."

"That's not a good idea, Nina. He's in a lot of pain right now and it won't do either of you a world of good. Remember how I healed? How it was like I didn't get cut at all?" Paul looks at her expectantly and she slowly nods. "Jake is gonna be fine, he just needs time to heal. You'd just get in the way."

She sucks in a sharp breath and Paul looks as if he immediately regretted his words.

"I get it." Nina laughs, tears threatening to fall. "I get it, I do."

"No, Nina. I didn't mean that." Paul swears under his breath, wringing his face with his hands. "Baby, I'm sorry I didn't mean it. I'm sorry, I have gotten like one hour of sleep in the past three days…"

"Paul, I get it. I'm not mad at you. Just… the situation." Nina holds out a reassuring hand, cupping his jaw. Paul relaxes under her touch and meets her gaze slowly.

"If it's any comfort I killed the thing that did it, I tore that fucker limb from limb." He leans into her smooth palm, closing his eyes. Nina stares up at him, frozen in shock. "I promise you, Nina, I won't let anything or anyone so much as touch a hair on your head."

She believes him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12: Like Home**

* * *

 **PAUL WASN'T JOKING ABOUT HIS SLEEP DEPRIVATION.** Nina understands something is out of the ordinary when Paul skips lunch in order to 'rest his eyes.' He falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow.

His bedroom door is left ajar, allowing his gentle snores to escape past his lips and into the hallway. Nina peeks in, originally intending to close his door to give him some peace. Instead she ends up watching him from the doorway, a smile finding its way onto her features. Somehow he looks even cuter than when she'd watched him sleeping at the hospital. Maybe it's the pure exhaustion or maybe it's because he feels comfortable in their home—Nina hopes it's the latter.

"Nina…"

She bites at her bottom lip, worried he caught her staring at him. But rather than wake up and give her a hard time, Paul only shifts over in bed. Her heart slams against her ribcage, her cheeks reddening. Is he dreaming about her?

To distract herself from her racing thoughts Nina decides to walk away and head downstairs to the kitchen. Grandpa John is there waiting for her, humming an old song and cooking grilled cheese on the stovetop.

"He's still sleeping?" Grandpa John asks, looking up from the skillet. Nina nods.

"Should we wake him up?" She glances back toward the stairs. "I don't think he's eaten in a while. It's not like him to miss a meal."

"Let him sleep." The older man tells her calmly. "Paul needs to rest. We'll order a couple pizzas when he wakes up."

"I guess you're right." She sighs. "Even if he acts like it, missing a meal or two won't kill him."

"And it means more for us." Grandpa John smirks, handing her a plate of perfectly buttery and crispy grilled cheese. "Eat up, Little Bird. You need to gain back your strength, as well."

"Thanks, Grandpa." She smiles up at him, heading to the table. They eat quietly, a tangible sense of peace settling over the house. Something has changed, Nina knows it has. She could see it in Paul's eye, and now in Grandpa John's: an overwhelming sense of relief.

Nina studies her grandfather as he eats, his eyes occasionally drifting to the baseball game playing in the background. His long silver hair falls down his back, rather than in the usual pair of plaits worn under a cowboy hat. Her eyes land on something she'd never noticed before: a small wooden wolf charm hanging from a leather string.

For the first time Nina finds herself wondering exactly how many people are aware of the tribe's furry little secret. Would Grandpa John know? There were moments she thought he might, but then others she doubted he would keep it from her. It definitely seemed like Old Quil knew, though, and the two of them were as close as brothers.

"What is it, Little Bird? Do you want a second helping?"

She shakes her head, laughing to herself at the absurdity of it all.

"Grandpa, did you know about Paul?"

"What about Paul?" He asks innocently, his nearly white eyebrows quirking slightly.

"Grandpa." Nina all but whines, causing him to quickly relent—the power of a pouting granddaughter.

"I had my reasons for not telling you." He frowns, the lines settling deep into his face. "It's our law. Only Paul could tell you the truth."

"I'm not mad, I understand your reasoning." Nina tells him honestly, taking away both his plate and her own. He gives her a smile as she rinses the dishes in the sink and places them in the drying rack. She can't help but hum the same old song.

She checks on Paul before going to bed and then again in the morning. There's an almost addictive quality to watching the way his chest slowly rises and falls with each steady breath. In the morning light his skin is illuminated, rays of sunshine dancing across his features. Nina decides there's no harm in taking a closer look, and ends up pulling up a chair to sit beside him.

His eyelashes are so long, she realizes—long enough to cast soft shadows across his cheeks. Paul really is handsome, she can't deny it. Sitting next to him like this she kind of feels like a prince who has come to wake a sleeping princess from a curse. Her hand moves without thinking, brushing a stray piece of hair from his face. Nina stands abruptly, deciding she should leave before any more voyeuristic urges are unleashed.

"What, no kiss?" Paul mumbles as she reaches the door, startling her. She turns to see him looking up at her through half-lidded eyes, still heavy with sleep. Adorable. Genuinely adorable. She lets out a gentle sigh.

"Sorry to disappoint, sleeping beauty." Nina glances at him once more before turning to head back down the hall.

"Where are you going?" He calls out to her.

"To order pizza." She answers without turning around, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

. . .

Nina didn't expect to feel like a worshiper bringing tribute to a great and very hungry god. And yet she watches in awe as Paul drinks a two liter bottle of orange soda to wash down an extra large supreme pizza. Realizing he's still hungry, she orders another pizza and forages a family size bag of chips from out of the pantry.

With a satiated smile, Paul rubs his stomach (still somehow perfectly chiseled and toned, not a hint of bloating in sight) and promises he'll be back soon.

"You're leaving again?" Nina asks, crestfallen.

"I'll be back tonight, I promise." He gives her a thoughtful glance. "Try not to go out until I'm back, okay? We're still doing a last minute to check to make everything is safe."

She nods, as if she understands what exactly had been unsafe. She doubts Paul would tell her even if she asked, and part of her doesn't really want to know. It's still hard to believe that the superheroes and boogeymen from her childhood are very real—and really close to home.

. . .

Paul returns the moment the sun begins to set fire to the tree line. She runs outside when she sees him from the window, the sky behind him a brilliant kaleidoscope of purples and pinks and yellows and oranges.

Grandpa John makes them dinner and they eat quietly around the table. Paul helps Nina with the dishes as Grandpa John excuses himself, saying he can't keep up with the youngsters. She knows that he's tired, too. Even if he wouldn't tell her, she knew John had spent most of the day helping out at Billy Black's house.

She and Paul sit down to watch TV, but something feels strange. She perches herself on the couch, wrapped in a quilt, while he sits on John's recliner.

"Why do you always sit so far away?" She asks, not sure what's come over her. "Do I smell weird or something?"

Judging by his facial expression Nina would think she had personally offended him.

"No! You smell really nice… like oranges and flowers, and salt and fresh dirt…"

"Like fresh dirt?" She gives him an incredulous look, trying to figure out where in her beauty routine she picked up the scent of salt and _fresh dirt_.

"Like the forest." He answers simply, his eyes still on the screen in front of him. "Like home."

Her cheeks heat up and she wonders if she has a second appendix that needs scooping out.

"So, I don't smell weird?" He shakes his head earnestly. "And even if I did—starting to think I might… apparently you're a fan."

"Big fan." Paul turns to look at her, giving her a thumbs up. He seemingly cringes at his own actions, causing Nina to giggle despite herself.

"So why are you sitting all the way over there?" She studies him carefully, taking a deep breath. She wonders if he can hear her rapidly beating heart.

Paul's expression softens as he returns her gaze.

"Because I'd want to hold you."

She blinks back in disbelief, but knows from the intensity in his eyes he is one hundred percent serious.

"I…"

"Sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

"No, listen to me." She tells him sternly, the pleasant and giddy pressure in her chest growing stronger. "I wouldn't hate that, Paul. I'd probably like it, or something."

He looks into her eyes, as if trying to read her mind and decode the endless jumble of nonsense tumbling between her ears whenever she's around him. Wordlessly, Paul stands up and crosses the space between them.

He gives her a long, charged glance before seating himself beside her. The couch dips under his weight and gravity pulls them closer together. Nina sucks in a breath as he wraps an arm around her shoulder, his fingers tangling themselves in the loose curls she'd let fall unkempt down her torso. Deciding she has nothing to lose and everything to gain, she lets her head rest slightly on his chest.

Paul lets out a sigh of content.

"That's better." He smiles softly.

"It is." She hums in agreement. "You're so warm, like a furnace. It's going to be so nice in the winter."

"You're still gonna want me around by then?" His tone is teasing but hopeful.

"Maybe."

"Maybe?" He scoffs. "Not to guilt you into spending more time with me or anything but I feel physical pain when you're not around."

Nina stretches slightly, placing a kiss on his cheek.

She isn't sure why. Maybe it's because no one has said something like that to her before or maybe it's because no one will ever mean it as much as Paul had. There's more sincerity in his eyes than any of the empty soliloquies spoken by the boys who had tried to hold her hand or kiss her under the bleachers.

She tries to remember the legends, unable to think of the word Old Quil had used. All she knows is that there's something in Paul's eyes when he looks at her, something they couldn't fight if they wanted to.

"You're gonna be around for a long time, aren't you, Paul?"

He gives her a mysterious smile, holding onto her hand.

"Yeah, that's the plan."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: Hurricane**

* * *

 **GRANDPA JOHN RETURNS FROM HIS FISHING TRIP WITH A DEEPLY CARVED FROWN.** Nina watches as he places his gear and tackle by the door, his movements slowed. She gives him a questioning glance, increasingly worried by his pallid features.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asks, pulling out a chair as he approaches the kitchen table. The last thing she needs is for something to happen Grandpa John. She doesn't know if she could take losing anyone else.

"I'm fine." He answers with a long sigh.

"Then why do you not _look_ fine?"

"Bella and the Cullen boy are getting married. Charlie gave us the news this morning."

"Married?" Nina sits back in shock. Her mind immediately goes to the person most likely to be devastated by this sudden development. "Does Jake know?"

"I'd be surprised if he didn't." John gives her a sympathetic look. "He misses you. It wasn't right how things turned out but you were a good friend to him, Nina."

"Yeah, right." Nina scoffs.

"You should go see him."

Nina lets out a sigh, resting her head on the table in frustration. She knows Grandpa John is right. Even if she wants to be mad at Jake, she somehow isn't. The truth is that she has been so distracted by Paul she's barely had time to think about Jake at all.

She feels guilty for it, wondering if her own feelings had really been that fickle. She can't ignore that Jacob had seen her when no one else did. He was the one who shook her out of a long sleep. Just like a gentle spring rain, he had made her feel like she could begin again. He made her feel like she could open her heart—at least before he broke it, without ever telling her why.

Before she knows it, Nina finds herself pulling up to a familiar house.

Jacob stands outside, as if waiting for her. She's struck by the sight of him, and realizes just how long it has been since she has seen his face. Sorrow is carved into his features. Whatever had happened over the weekend changed him.

"Why are you here?" He bites out, but she can see the struggle in his eyes.

"I had to see you."

"Well, you saw me."

Nina rolls her eyes. She moves closer, refusing to let his attitude keep her from being a good friend.

"Jacob, I'm not going anywhere. You can cut it out." Her voice is soft. She wants to reach out to him, but doesn't.

Jacob's shoulders relax as he carefully studies her.

"You don't get it, Nina." He sighs, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I can't be around you. I can't stand having Paul's thoughts in my head."

Her eyes narrow.

"What are you talking about?" Her brows furrow in confusion. She remembers when Leah had said something similar.

"No point in hiding it anymore, I guess." He laughs sardonically. "When we shift our thoughts are open game. We can hear what anyone else in the pack is thinking as long as they're in wolf form."

"You can't just tune it out?" She asks in surprise, constantly amazed by the details of the supernatural around her. He shakes his head.

"It's why Paul knew how I felt about you before he imprinted, not like it was his fault."

"How did you feel about me?" She searches his eyes, desperately needing closure.

"I thought you were... crazy. Beautiful. Funny. Adorable." He lets out a long, almost painful looking breath. "I cared about you, I still do. But Paul..."

Her feet act on their own, moving Nina closer and closer until the gap is bridged between them. Nina interrupts him with a kiss. His hands tangle into her hair as she pulls him tight. Their lips create the sweetest pressure.

"Why does this feel like goodbye?" Nina sighs as they disconnect. Where his lips had been there is now a bitter after taste. Jake gives her a sad smile.

She knows why.

Jacob is a refreshing spring rain, but Paul is a hurricane.

. . .

The next time Nina sees Paul he gives her a hurt look. She tries not to look guilty, but she knows in his eyes she has betrayed him. Like always, he never leaves her side for too long. But something has changed.

She peeks out of her doorway, noises from Paul's room catching her attention. She moves hesitantly toward his door, surprised to find it wide open.

"What are you doing?" She murmurs, watching in disbelief as Paul stuffs his clothes into a duffle bag.

"I told you I was going back to my place." He answers without looking up.

"But so soon?" She rests her head against the jamb of the door as she watches him.

"It's not like I'm going far away, Nina." He looks up at her, his eyes softly reassuring her. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"You mean it?" She gives him a small smile, her stomach twisting in knots. He nods.

. . .

Last time they sat in the Ranger outside of Emily Young's house they had fought.

Nina almost wishes they would fight, instead of the unspoken distance that had slowly crept between them. She follows behind Paul as he strides easily up to the house, greeted in a dog pile by the other members of the pack. She meets eyes with Jared who gives her an unimpressed frown.

"Nina, c'mon." Paul holds a hand out to her and she takes it, letting the heat of his palm set her entire body on fire. He leads her into the house, cramped with bodies. There's faces she doesn't immediately recognize, and is surprised to see with clipped hair and tattoos on their shoulders. Leah stands at the window holding her arms over her chest, the beginnings of a sunshower tapping at the glass. At first glance Leah seems to be removed from the rest of the pack, but on second glance she has positioned herself perfectly to keep guard over her brother and the other young boys Nina now realizes are Brady Fuller and Collin Littlesea.

Leah turns her head and meets Nina's gaze, the corner of her mouth quirking slightly. The moment is short-lived as Paul pulls her away into the kitchen.

"Nina!" Emily calls out to her, a smile blooming on her scarred features. She wraps Nina into a hug, catching her off guard. Nina awkwardly pats Emily on the back, glancing up at Paul. "I'm so glad you could make it!"

Kim gives her the same treatment, and it takes everything in her not to shrink back. Nina's come a long way, but there's still a part of her that doesn't know how let people past her carefully built walls. And she's never really been much of a hugger, anyway.

"Thank you for inviting me." Nina smiles, still searching for Paul's eyes.

"Oh, no problem! You're welcome here anytime, you're part of the family."

Paul furrows his brows at her as if wordlessly begging her to behave. Nina lets out a soft exhale.

"You know, Nina's not much of a cook. Maybe you could give her some pointers, Em." Paul speaks finally, earning a hard eye roll.

"Maybe you should learn since you're so concerned about starving to death. It's not like I'm your maid." Nina mumbles, hearing Leah's laugh faintly from the other room.

Sam calls out to Paul and he lingers for a moment, making sure to meet Nina's eyes. She gives him a reassuring smile and he disappears around the corner, joining the rest of the pack.

Emily and Kim try their best to include her in their conversation, but she can't help but feel like she's been abandoned in the kitchen to make snacks with the WAGs.

"So how are things going with you and Paul?" Kim asks with a teasing grin, holding onto a mixing bowl as part of Emily's cookie assembly line.

"Well, I'm still learning about him." Nina answers honestly, leaning against the refrigerator (her job was to take out ingredients).

"Don't worry, Nina. It took me a long time to get used to the idea of Sam imprinting on me." Emily assures her, softly patting her arm. Nina stares back at her.

"Imprinting?"

"Paul didn't tell you?" Kim asks in a scandalized whisper, as if every individual in the other room did not have enhanced hearing.

"Well, I knew, I guess..." Nina shrugs. "I just didn't have a word for it."

Emily and Kim seem satisfied by her answer, changing the subject easily to Emily's new ring and the constantly pushed back wedding date. Kim swears she's going to catch Emily's bouquet, to which the older girl tells her to worry about finishing high school first. Nina listens in a daze, adding a comment every once a while to avoid coming across as rude.

She's thankful when the voices in the other room become louder and less organized, signaling the end to the meeting. Paul peeks his head in the doorway, and she gratefully lets him whisk her away after a long ceremony of saying goodbye.

"It's still raining." Paul mentions the obvious, holding out his hand. The sky has gone dark. "Do you want me to see if Em has an umbrella?"

Nina shakes her head.

"I'm fine, let's just run for it." Paul nods, grabbing onto her hand as they splash through puddles on their way to the Ranger. She jumps into the driver's seat, the truck starting up after kicking up a fuss.

Paul holds her hand in the space between them. She steers with one hand, not wanting to let go. With Paul in the truck she doesn't need to turn on the heater.

"You didn't ask what the meeting was about." He breaks the silence, his thumb brushing absently against the back of her hand.

"I didn't know I could." She answers simply, her voice nearly drowned out by steady sound of the windshield wipers.

"Jacob's gone." He tells her through a sigh. "Maybe for good, we don't really know. The pack connection broke so we have no idea where he is."

Nina swallows. She isn't surprised Jacob decided to leave. She knows that he probably just needs time, just like she needed time. Staying here dredging up old wounds and never having the chance to heal wouldn't do him any good.

"He'll come back." Nina glances briefly at Paul from the corner of her eye. He squeezes her hand. "The pack is his family, and he wouldn't leave Billy for long."

"Yeah, I know. But it's still annoying." Paul laughs softly, his breath creating a fog on the window. "I'm sorry for not telling you about the imprint, by the way."

"Oh, you heard Kim?" She teases.

"I thought it might scare you." He scratches the back of his head with his free hand. "You already seemed uncomfortable with me just showing up constantly so I waited—too long, I guess."

"So you really imprinted on me? Just like in the stories?" Paul nods. "When did you know?"

"It was that day at the beach, when we saw each other for the first time since I shifted."

"That day?" Nina's cheeks redden, understanding a little more clearly why Paul and Jacob had acted so strangely. Paul had imprinted on her and Jacob knew it. "But wait, I saw you before that. At the bonfire."

"Eye contact." He tells her sagely. "It has to be eye contact. Eye to eye, soul to soul, whatever Old Quil says."

Soul to soul.

She couldn't think of a better way to describe the inexplicable pull she felt toward Paul. But she still wonders what would have happened if the imprint had better timing. Maybe she could have saved everyone a little less heartache if she had met his gaze just a week earlier. Not that she had actually regretted anything, or felt she would really do it all over again if given the chance.

"What did it feel like when you imprinted on me?" Nina asks quietly, knowing he will hear her. She heard the way the elders spoke about the love Taha Aki held for the Third Wife, was that really the bond she and Paul now shared?

He takes a deep breath before answering.

"Well, it was kinda like I had been lost in the woods, moving farther and farther from home... until I saw you. I saw you and everything was clear. I felt like it didn't matter where I went—as long as you were there I wouldn't lose my way." Paul clears his throat, looking at her cautiously. She can't help but tear up, feeling the wetness against her cheek. "I'm sorry if I freaked you out in the beginning, but I was feeling things I had never felt before and the more I was with you the stronger those feelings kept getting."

"And the pain," Nina remembers his words from the other day. "That wasn't a joke, was it?"

He shakes his head.

"It wasn't a joke. Just a fun side effect of the imprint... I want to be by your side, I _need_ to be by your side."

Paul shifts in his seat, moving to wipe the tears from her face. She thinks she may be starting to understand what he means.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: All That Glitters**

* * *

 **NINA FEELS LIKE A DOLL.** She watches from her vanity mirror as Leah curls her hair with careful movements.

"Did you go to prom?" Nina asks, brushing a stray piece of hair from her forehead.

"Senior year was pretty, um, rough." A wave of sadness crosses Leah's features before fading away. Nina reaches up to gently place her hand on her friend's shoulder. Leah gives her a small smile. "But it wasn't really my thing, anyway."

"Who needs prom when you have teen weddings?" Nina smirks as Leah lets out a laugh. "I wish you were going."

Leah wrinkles her nose.

"I wish you _weren't_ going." The older girl turns off the curling iron with a sigh. She unleashes a cloud of hairspray over Nina's head, before stepping back to admire her work. "But you do look beautiful."

Nina looks at her reflection, still somewhat uneasy at the eyes staring back at her—her mother's. But the glitter eyeshadow helps. Leah's gentle smile helps.

"Girls?" Sue calls from the hall. "Are you almost ready?"

"Ready!" Leah calls back, holding Nina's arm for support as she stands up from the chair.

The two girls head outside, meeting Sue and Grandpa John.

"Nina, you look lovely." Grandpa John smiles, holding the present Sue had helped him wrap earlier that morning. "Are you sure you're fine riding in the back?"

"Yeah, totally." She responds unconvincingly, causing Leah to snort beside her. "It's not like it's a long ride. Gotta protect Sue's handiwork."

Nina helps Sue and the present into the cab, closing the door gently behind her. Leah watches wearily as Nina pops off her heels to climb up into the bed of the truck.

"Where is Seth?" Sue asks from her cracked window.

"He'll catch up." Leah kicks at the driveway with an eyeroll. "He wouldn't miss his best friend Edward's wedding."

Nina waves at her friend as Grandpa John drives away. She can't help the tinge of sadness at watching Leah standing alone in the yard. She puts the thought out of her mind, knowing that Leah could take care of herself, and that there really was no way she would have convinced her to go. Seth's enthusiasm aside.

The truck rumbles as it passes down the familiar tree-lined road heading into Forks. Nina holds her shoes in her hands, feeling like a stolen away prom queen. She sees a rustling in the trees, and feels silly for hoping it's Paul.

Instead Seth comes into view, waving at her with a boyish smile. The Ranger slows down as Seth runs up, effortlessly hopping into the back. She can't help but laugh as he picks a leaf from off of his shoulder.

"You ran in your nice clothes?" She quirks a brow, reaching out to straighten his collar.

"I have a tie, too, but I didn't know how to put it on." He tells her with a pout. Nina gestures for him to give it to her, watching as he fishes the crumpled tie from out of his pants pocket.

She loops the tie around his neck, tying it carefully as she recites the steps in her head. Seth thanks her, making her promise to teach him how to tie a tie sometime 'just in case.' He chatters excitedly the rest of the ride, which Nina would usually find annoying if it weren't for the genuine joy radiating from his features. His smile is like an analgesic mixture of puppies and rainbows.

When the truck comes to a stop, Seth helps her out of the back and waits for her to slip her heels back on. Billy joins them shortly, having arrived with Charlie before them.

Nina's breath hitches at the sight of the Cullen's property, transformed into a mystical garden of hanging florals and lush greenery. She follows Grandpa John, Billy, and the Clearwaters to their seat on the bride's side. Her thoughts wander through the ceremony, a growing sense of unease in her gut. It's the first time she's seen Edward. He is somehow exactly how everyone had described, all at once a perfect amalgamation of the fear and wonder and awe he inspires in others. Nina watches as Charlie draws in a breath as the newly married couple share their first kiss. She pities him.

The crowd erupts into cheers, guests on both sides standing up for the young bride and groom. Her eyes wander to the other end of the aisle, a chill running up her spine. Behind the Cullens, stand a quartet of pale strangers. Beyond the beauty, there is an eeriness—a sense of danger and surreality that causes the hair along her arms to raise.

Seth notices her discomfort, giving her a reassuring look. But it's not enough to calm her painfully beating heart.

Nina watches as Bella and Edward walk towards their small group, standing out in their own way. The expression on Sue's face is gentle and supportive, but the sorrow in her eyes is unmistakable. Billy and Grandpa John are the same, with smiles that don't meet their eyes. Only Seth beams at them with sincerity, wrapping Bella in a hug that serves to both startle and comfort the frail girl.

"You look beautiful, Bella." Nina manages to stutter out. Beautiful like a virgin getting ready to be tossed into a volcano. "Congratulations."

"Thank you for coming, Nina. I really appreciate it." Bella gives her a small smile, her hands folded in front of her. Edward's eyes fall on Nina, a startling inhuman shade of amber.

"We haven't met yet. I'm Edward." He introduces himself with the same melodious and unearthly timbre that she had heard in the hospital.

"Nina." She nods politely. He offers his hand and she takes it, her body immediately stiffening. His hand is as cold and hard as marble. She retracts her hand shakily, averting her eyes.

Edward and Bella move on to greet other guests, leaving as suddenly as they had appeared.

"I need some air." Nina chokes out, excusing herself as the Elders give her sympathetic glances.

All of the stories come back to her. Pale skin, cold as ice. The Cold Ones... The Cullens were the Cold Ones all along.

It wasn't that she didn't already know, deep down, but that she had subconsciously ignored the truth. Jacob had told her it was in their blood, to fear the Cullens. Paul had told her she was smart.

"Nina..." Seth's voice cuts into her spiraling thoughts. He holds out his hand, the keys to the Ranger dangling from his fingers.

She looks up with furrowed brows.

"What about Grandpa John and your mom?"

"They're gonna ride back with Charlie."

Nina cautiously takes the keys, enclosing the cool metal in her palm. She lets out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, giving Seth a grateful look.

"Take care of them, okay?"

He gives her a boyish grin.

"Always."

Nina nods, reaching out to rustle his hair. She spares one last look to the illuminated yard and the sound of music filling the air before turning on her heel.

Once out of view she all but sprints to the truck, her heels digging into the damp ground. She pauses to take off her heels, gripping them in her hands. A sigh of relief falls from her lips as she sees the Ranger, its rusted metal nearly shining in the moonlight. She jumps into the driver's side, adjusting the seat and throwing her heels behind her.

The ignition roars to life, giving her a strange sort of comfort. She drives, intent on getting to the safety of her bed as soon as possible.

As the Cullens' house disappears behind the cover of the trees, Nina's eyes begin to well with tears. Her mind races with thoughts of the mysterious dangers in the woods. All of the stories.

The deaths in the Seattle, the death of her _parents_.

Nina wipes her eyes, pulling over as the sobs overwhelm her and she can't see beyond the tears. She knows it is a very real possibility that her parents were killed by the Cold Ones. And she had just watched Bella happily _marry_ one... Nina had shook his hand...

She isn't delusional enough to believe the Cullens had anything to do with it. From what she had heard, whispers, voices of the pack that were unintentionally a little too loud, it seemed like the opposite. But that just meant she would never know. Nina would never know who, or what, killed her parents.

The realization is suffocating.

Her hands grips onto the steering wheel, her nails cutting into the worn polyurethane.

A rustling in the tree line catches her attention from the corner of her eye. Her heartbeat quickens as a wolf emerges, its eyes flashing in the darkness. She feels ashamed of the instinctual wave of fear. She knows it's Paul, she can see it in the wolf's eyes. She knows it's Paul, she does, but that doesn't make it easier to accept.

She swallows back her shame as she reaches to open the driver's side door. The wolf approaches her and rests his muzzle into her outstretched hands. She's beginning to accept a certain amount of fear as the price of her newfound life.

The wolf—no, Paul—raises his head to gaze into her eyes. He lets out a low-pitched rumble at the sight of her tear-stained face and steps back.

She watches in awe as fur transforms into skin.

"Sorry." Paul apologizes gruffly. "I didn't want the others to 'hear.'"

Nina's cheeks redden.

"Okay, well now you're naked?" She turns her head (just in time to see Paul blush in his own realization), and reaches behind the passenger's seat. She throws a blanket to him without looking away from the road in front of her. The weight of the truck shifts as Paul hops in beside her, wrapped in the blanket.

"Why were you crying, baby?" Paul asks softly, and she can all but feel his desire to reach out and touch her cheek through the intensity of his gaze.

"I don't know..." She tells him shakily. She lets out another breath, her grip tightening on the steering wheel. If she looks at Paul she'll start crying again. "I mean, I do know. I know it's not the Cullens' fault, but..."

Paul nods.

"Probably not." He sighs. "They're _vegetarians._ "

Nina laughs softly at the absurdity, wiping again at her eyes. The back of her hands look like Jackson Pollock paintings. She's sure her face is in even worse shape.

"I never should have gone... I'm just not comfortable around them."

"And you're not comfortable around me, either." Paul guesses. She turns her head to see his frowning face.

She reaches out to him, letting her fingers intertwine with his. There's a sense of safety and familiarity in the warmth of his skin.

"It's just a lot to get used to, Paul." She gives him a tiny smirk. "You know, just seeing giant wolves approach my truck..."

"Sorry." He bows his head, making her laugh. "I'll be more careful."

She shakes her head.

"It's okay." She tightens her grip on his warm hand. "Thank you for coming to see me. I don't know how you even found me, kind of don't want to know... But I'm happy you did."

"Nina, I'll always find you."

His other hand moves to cover her own. There's a mysterious sincerity in his features, an emotion she has never seen before. Paul's gaze bathes her in the emotion, as if pulling her into a neverending tide. She feels like she's drowning, but she isn't sure if she wants to gasp out for breath or let the feeling completely consume her.

"I don't want to be alone tonight." She confesses quietly, her voice coming out barely above a whisper. She knows he will hear her.

His thumb brushes against her skin.

"I'll stay with you." He brings her hand to his lips, gently kissing her fingers one by one. Her heartbeat quickens. "After I put on some clothes."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 14: Tension**

* * *

 **MOONLIGHT TRICKLES THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW.**

Nina sits on her bed, holding her arms over her knees. She is on watch—perfectly in tune with every movement and sound outside her bedroom. She watches in surprise as a ziplock bag full of muffins is tossed onto the floor, following moments later by Paul Lahote wiggling his body through the windowsill.

"From Emily." Paul's answers her unspoken question with a grin, picking the muffins up again and tossing them toward her. Nina catches them gracelessly, feeling their warmth through the plastic. "Hot and fresh, like me."

Nina snorts.

"Grandpa John's not home yet, you could have used the door." She takes out a muffin, picking at it slowly.

"Yeah, but where's the drama in that?" Paul shrugs, throwing himself onto the bed. The mattress sighs with the added weight. "Chicks are into Romeo and Juliet for a reason."

"What, windows?"

"Ha ha, very funny."

She glances up at him with a raised eyebrow, and any other snarky comments she might make melt away in his deep brown eyes. She lets out a contented breath as he wraps an arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer. She relaxes her legs, leaning against his warm body. The half eaten muffin is clumsily abandoned onto her bedside table, followed shortly by the ziploc bag thudding onto the floor once again.

A soft laugh rumbles in Paul's chest as he lets his head rest against her own, flooding her senses with his earthy scent.

"Thank you for staying with me." Nina tells him quietly, toying with the hem of her old fleece quilt. The fear that had been throbbing in her veins, laying dormant under her skin, begins to dissolve with each gentle rise and fall of Paul's breath.

"Of course." He places a gentle kiss on the top of her forehead, causing her heartbeat to quicken. A deep chuckle leaves his throat.

"Why are you laughing?" She asks, her voice cracking.

"Your heart sounds like it's going to explode." Paul announces with a smirk as he glances down, earning an indignant scoff. Smirk still in place, he takes her hand and carefully positions it on his chest. "So is mine, you just can't hear it."

Nina looks up at him, feeling the thrum of his heart through the thin fabric of his cotton t-shirt. She leaves her palm gently pressed against Paul's chest and further curls herself into his strong arms. She stifles a yawn, the adrenaline from earlier that evening finally leaving her body. There's something that had been bothering her in the back of her mind.

"Paul, why were you in the woods?"

She feels his body shift weight. The hand that been innocuously placed in her hair pauses.

"There was a small incident." He tells her reluctantly. She sits up in concern, to which he continues his soothing ministrations through her hair. "It's fine. No one was hurt. Don't worry."

Nina lets her suddenly tensed muscles relax as she moves back onto her pillow, now face to face with Paul.

"I don't know if I can believe you when you tell me not to worry."

"Can you at least believe I'll tell you anything you need to know? And that anything I don't tell you is just to protect you?" Paul murmurs, his hand resting on her shoulder. She shivers as he draws invisible tattoos onto her bare skin.

She lets out a sigh before nodding. She gazes into his dark eyes, letting the depth of emotion carried by one glance wash over her. She trusts him. For reasons she can't explain, even if she might even know better, she trusts him. Just as Emily trusted Sam after he scarred her face. Just as the Third Wife trusted Taha Aki.

"I've never been in love before. I've been on dates and there's been guys I liked, but…" Jake's face comes to mind, and something in Paul's expression tells her the same. He watches her carefully as she speaks, giving her the full intensity of his attention. She feels her cheeks warm. "This. This is different, isn't it?"

"You don't have to love me." Paul tells her quietly, pressing his lips against her palm. The gentle gesture makes her melt. "Please, just don't leave me."

"I won't." The promise feels heavy but somehow Nina knows she will keep it.

. . .

Paul is snoring gently when she wakes up in the morning.

Nina carefully attempts to move her leg that had found itself draped dangerously over Paul's. Despite her effort, Paul begins to stir. He opens his eyes slowly, watching her with a heavy lidded stare.

"What are you looking at?" She murmurs, nestling back into the pillow as if anchored by his eyes.

"You're pretty." He tells her, sleep still thick in his voice. Nina stifles a giddy grin threatening to stretch from ear to ear.

She follows his gaze as it shifts suddenly to the window—he must be hearing something beyond her own human senses. Paul shifts his weight in bed, throwing his half of the quilt over onto Nina's legs.

"Bad guy?" Nina asks, studying his face.

"Worse." Paul grunts. In nearly perfect timing, the back door shuts from the downstairs. Her rising heartbeat is calmed by a familiar voice calling up to her.

"Nina?" Leah's voice carries over the sound of bare feet pounding on wooden stairs. The moment Leah steps into the doorway her expression sours. "I thought I smelled something."

"Really? I could smell you a mile away." Paul quips. Nina reaches over to push him softly, giving him a warning glance. He nods his head in apology but there's not an ounce of remorse on his face.

" _Anyway_ , what's up Leah?"

Leah smirks at Paul before turning her attention back to Nina. She pulls out the old desk chair to straddle backward, perching her chin on its back.

"I thought I'd check on you after the fight at the wedding, but looks like you're doing just fine."

"The fight?" Nina glares at the man beside her doing everything to avoid her eyes.

"Almost fight." Paul mumbles. "I told it wasn't anything to worry about."

"Why are you men like this?" Leah scoffs. "Always hiding stuff from your imprints."

"Watch it, Leah." Paul growls under his breath.

"Paul." Nina looks at him in confusion and mounting anger. She's never understood the tension between Leah and the rest of the pack (though she knew the answer if she really thought about it). "Paul, you told me it was just a small incident. Is that even true?"

"He doesn't want you to know that Jacob showed up at the wedding and almost broke the treaty. It took Jared, Embry, and Quil to restrain him from ripping off Cullen's head. Seth's been moping about it all morning."

Nina shoots Paul another glare before he can speak. Instead, he wrings his hands against his face and lets out a deep sigh.

"Leah, would you go outside so I can talk to Paul?" She keeps her eyes on him, despite his refusal to look anywhere but to the ground.

"Of course." The older girl chirps, moving off of the chair and out the door just as quickly as she had entered.

"Nina, I…"

"I know why you didn't tell me. I understand." She sighs, throwing off the quilt and getting out of bed. She moves around the bed, standing in front of Paul. "Don't do it again, okay? The best way to protect me is with information. I'll be worried but at least I'll know what's going on."

Slowly he reaches out to take her hands into his own.

"Sorry, you're right. You have just as much right to know as I do." Paul murmurs, stroking her palm with the pad of his thumb. "I'm the one who did this to you anyway."

Nina gives him a bemused, but sad smile.

"Come on, Paul. We both know neither us planned for any of this to happen." She squeezes his hand. "But at least we're in it together."

"Yeah, you're right. Nina, I…" He stops himself, looking down. It's easy to forget Paul is as much of an awkward teenager as she is when he looks like a jacked up professional athlete. His cheeks flush as he tries to compose himself, as if searching for the right words to say. She can nearly see the cogs turning in his mind. "Nina, thank you for everything."

"I don't do much." She teases, playfully swinging their conjoined hands. "Me too, Paul. Thanks for always being there when I need you."

"I'm still here whenever you lovebirds are done!" Leah calls from downstairs, causing Nina to back away from Paul with an embarrassed laugh.

Nina all but pushes Paul down the stairs with her hands lightly on his back, his steps heavy and reluctant. Leah is perched on the kitchen table when they get downstairs. When looking at Leah again she seems uncharacteristically dressed, if only because her usual outfits seemed more geared toward being haphazardly discarded into a pile by the nearest tree. Her tattoo is unseen under a white blouse tucked slightly into a denim skirt.

"What are you all dressed up for?" Paul grunts, also noticing Leah's appearance.

"Girl's day." Leah frowns, reading on Nina's paling face that she had completely forgotten.

"What is _girl's day_?"

"Oh my god, Leah. I am so sorry. After leaving the wedding it completely slipped my mind." Nina ignores Paul as she rakes her hair back with her hand, feeling her chest tighten with guilt. "I can be ready in like ten minutes."

"Get ready for what?" Paul asks again, glancing between the two girls in the kitchen.

"Nina and I made plans to go into Port Angeles to go shopping and get our nails done." Leah answers, crossing her legs as she stares at Paul with an arched brow.

"You're going alone?" Paul's voice raises as he folds his arms over his chest, looking squarely at Leah. Nina watches them uncomfortably, feeling the antagonism rising in the air as thick as smoke. "I think I remember last time you two went to Port Angeles alone you got into a bar fight."

"It wasn't a bar fight." Nina pipes up, but she's all but invisible in Leah and Paul's battle of downturned lips and furrowed brows.

"So what? You're going to get a pedicure?" Leah scoffs, hopping from the table to stand in front of Paul.

"Yeah, why not?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16: Crush**

* * *

 **NINA EXPECTS PAUL TO BACK DOWN AT ANY MINUTE.**

But after a tension-filled car ride, Paul walks into the nail salon with the utmost confidence of a man who refuses to admit he's wrong. He ducks his head under the low door frame, towering over the middle aged receptionist who takes their names. Leah and Nina stifle laughter as he's led to a chair, his arms still stubbornly folded over his chest. He towers comically over the nail technician, his knees high up as he sits at the pedicure station.

Paul flinches as the nail technician grabs his foot, and Nina nearly expects him to kick the woman in the face. Eventually he relaxes, and Nina lets out a sigh of relief. She sits back into her own chair, enjoying the brief moments of peace. Even without wolfy super senses she can hear the chatter of the other women in the salon with a few keywords: tall, dark, and handsome.

She shares an exasperated glance with Leah. The rest of the appointment goes by smoothly, with Paul the quietest Nina has ever seen him.

"I'll pay." Paul offers, his wallet already out. Leah rolls her eyes.

"Why would you do that?" Nina frowns. "You don't have to, Paul."

"It's fine." He sighs, handing the cashier his card. "My dad sends me money for food, but I eat for free at Emily's so…"

"You're so proud of freeloading." Leah snarks. Her back is turned but Nina's sure another eye roll was thrown in.

"Well, thanks, Paul." Nina gives him a tiny smile as she turns to follow Leah out the door, Paul not that far behind her. "Did you have fun?"

"I thought it would be super weird, and it was at first, but then it was actually cool. I did feel bad for the lady, though." Paul laughs quietly.

"I kind of expected the drain to clog with how often you walk around barefoot. No offense, Leah." Nina smirks, getting a playful punch to the shoulder from the other girl. Nina winces, but her lip remains curved upward.

"Sorry, I forgot." Leah frowns, her voice filled with worry despite Nina's reassuring gaze.

Paul is quick to place himself in between the two girls, his body language on defense. Leah stares him down as a growl leaves his throat. The tension in the air rises as Nina lets out a sigh, feeling annoyed rather than protected.

"Seriously, stop. It's fine." Nina groans, holding up her hands. "Yes, I'm just a fragile little human but don't go overboard. I've gotten worse hits riding home on the city bus."

"But Leah…"

"Nope." Nina cuts him off. "I'm over it. Let's just move on, okay?"

The two wolves share a begrudging look, which Nina takes as a truce and continues to walk down the street. She stops at a record store, excitedly looking to Leah. Paul follows them into the store, but is eventually left behind as Leah and Nina look at the records. Through her periphery Nina is vaguely aware of Paul as he wanders around, flipping through random bins. Not until she hears a loud crash does she look up.

"Sorry." Paul mumbles to no one in particular, after having accidentally knocked into a table. He picks up the fallen containers of vinyls, careful not to look anymore suspicious than he already does. He finishes cleaning up after himself and finds Nina, looking like a sad puppy.

"Barely anyone noticed." Nina tells him softly, resting a hand on his shoulder. He places a hand over hers, before letting go.

"I'm gonna go to the cafe across the street." He tells her sheepishly.

"We'll meet you when we're done." She promises, looking to Leah who nods absently.

They continue browsing, picking out a few vinyls to play on Leah's turntable. Leah insists on carrying the awkwardly shaped bag, and the two head toward the cafe.

"Gross." Leah murmurs under her breath as they watch women pausing to look into the window. "They're all talking about Paul."

"No way." Nina frowns in disbelief, pushing open the door to see groups of people sneaking not so subtle glances at the blissfully unaware boy sitting by the window with a laughably small glass of orange juice.

Nina feels a pang of irritation at the women and their misguided stares, but she feels even more irritated by Paul's feigned ignorance. She _knows_ he can hear everything they say, and she wouldn't be surprised if he's soaking it all up to brag later.

His face lights up when he notices her, and a wave of warmth washes out any bitterness that had been forming.

"Nina!" Paul suddenly stands, nearly bringing the table with him. She isn't sure when he became so clumsy—maybe because he's off the reservation and out of his element—but it's cute. He holds out a little paper bag and she takes it curiously. "I got you a croissant."

"Thank you," She brushes a piece of her behind her ear, looking up at him.

"I didn't want anything, but thank you." Leah quips. "You'd probably poison it anyway."

"I wouldn't poison you, Leah." Paul gives her a full-toothed smile, but it somehow comes across as a threat along the lines of ' _I'd do something worse.'_

Nina chooses to ignore her fighting friends this time, quietly eating her croissant. Leah chats mindlessly about the record they'd found, and Nina nods along. She sneaks glances at Paul, looking away with a blush each time he meets her eyes.

When she finishes eating they decide to go back home. Paul holds the door as they leave and begin to walk back toward the Ranger. Nina finds herself once more agitated by the girls in the street being a little too interested in Paul. She watches in horror as two girls, likely no more than their age, walk up giggling and twirling their hair.

"What's in the water here?" Leah laughs to herself, and Nina shakes her head.

"Are you a model?" One of the random girls asks, biting her lip. Nina feels like she's in an alternate universe or just a very weird dream.

"He's obviously not." Nina snarks, to which Leah holds back a throaty laugh that turns into a hard snort.

Paul politely speaks to the girls anyway as Leah ushers Nina down the street, giving her a fake and over-exaggerated play-by-play of the conversation.

"And _then_ she asked to lick his abs…" Leah smirks, interrupted by Paul jogging to catch up to them.

"Nina, you're jealous." Paul coos, and Nina scoffs.

"I'm not jealous, I'm just annoyed they interrupted us. Don't they have anything better to do? What happened to stranger danger?"

"You're so jealous!" Paul lets out a self-satisfied laugh as Nina shoots daggers at him with her eyes.

"I said I'm not jealous!"

"Okay, cut it out. It's not cute anymore." Leah frowns, hopping into the Ranger. "Nina's driving so she has to chill out. Can't drive angry, that's how trucks get wrapped around trees."

"I am calm." Nina spits out, before realizing her fists have been clenched. She relaxes her body, embarrassed that she had allowed her body to become as tense as a rubberband ready to snap. She gets into the driver's seat, turning the key and pulling out of the parking lot. Through the rearview mirror she can see Paul looking out the window. "Did you like all of the attention today, Paul?"

He groans.

"It's not because he doesn't get enough at home." Leah sneakers from the front passenger seat. "He was getting plenty of attention this morning."

"Leah, stop." A blush forms on Nina's cheeks.

"Why are you two ganging up on me?" Paul's voice raises. He lets out a sigh. "I'm over it. Nina, pull over."

"Paul, are you crazy? I'm not going to pull over…"

"Nina, please." Paul meets her gaze through the rearview mirror.

Nina feels tears of frustration well in her eyes, but she blinks them back as she carefully pulls the truck onto the side of the road. Paul gets out, and throws his boots into the back of the truck with a clunk. With a shaky breath Nina watches as he disappears into the treeline.

"What the fuck?" Nina whispers in shock, gripping onto the steering wheel.

"Are you okay?" Leah asks after a while, once they had arrived back to La Push.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine." Nina rakes her long hair back with her fingers. Her hand shakes, but she ignores it. "I just want to be alone for a bit, I think."

"I'll get home myself." Leah offers, giving her an empathetic frown.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I never should have let Paul come along on freakin' _girl's day._ " She lets out another shaky sigh. "It wasn't fun for you, was it? I should have been more considerate. I'm so sorry."

"Nina, seriously, don't worry about it. It's enough that you feel bad." Leah teases, giving her a soft nudge. "Take care of yourself, okay?"

Nina nods, watching her friend leave just like Paul had. She decides to drive to the beach to cool off, and throws hers own sandals into the bed of the truck after parking. She pauses before deciding to neatly sit up Paul's boots, resting them against the wall of the cab and tying the laces.

Her whole body hurts, having been wound tight with tension once more. Her toes dig into the sand and she lets out a sigh. The sets on the horizon, bathing the beach in shades of red and orange and then finally purple and blue.

A familiar howl echoes through the air, causes Nina's skin to tingle. She turns her head to the trees and sees a wolf.

Paul.

Slowly he moves toward her, his head bowed in apology—she reaches out, placing her hand above his muzzle and between his eyes. His fur is coarse, but somehow still soft. How had she ever been afraid?

It's a beast, it's a monster, but it's eyes… She is looking into Paul's eyes, so full of warmth and devotion.

The wolf's eyes shut, and as he leans into her touch, a small whimper vibrates from his throat.

"How easily can you shift?" Nina asks quietly, as if afraid to ruin the moment. She feels her heart leap as an idea forms—she remembers how instantaneously he had morphed before her eyes on the side of the road, and begins to gradually step backward into the water. The wolf tilts his head in confusion as she starts to unbuckle her shorts.

He lets out a huff and turns his head once he realizes what she's doing. Nina throws the last of her clothes onto the sand, and is soon joined by a mass of fur splashing into the surf. There's a wave of water, chaotic and monstrous like a tsunami. And through the disorientation she feels warm hands grab onto her bare hips.

"You're insane…" Paul growls into the skin of her shoulder, having pulled their bodies flush against each other. Nina feels her breath hitch at the grit in his voice, as if there were still a remnant of beast within the man, clawing and straining at the surface.

She stares at him, feeling dizzy and lightheaded. Her lips part slightly. With Paul's body heat, she doesn't feel the chill of the ocean.

A hand trails up her body and rests at the crook of her neck. Paul watches her intensely, whispering her name over and over as if reciting a spell. She lets the incantation take over as his lips crash against her own, with a gentle and urgent hunger.


	17. Chapter 17 - M

When Paul pulls back to look at her, his eyes are dark with need. Waves slowly ebb around them but Nina doesn't notice. Her attention is on Paul.

"I want you," she tells him. "I want all of you."

A low growl thrums in his throat. He tangles his fingers into her hair.

"Don't talk like that. You don't know what it does to me."

"I want to know." She's surprised by the breathiness of her voice. She feels a warmth spreading through her body as she brings herself closer. Paul's hands move to support her, his fingers digging into the flesh of her thighs. There's an insistent pressure against her abdomen—a gasp leaves her parted lips.

"Damn it, Nina." He pulls her body flush against his own, their chests heaving together in ragged harmony. "Not here."

Before she can process it, Paul has lifted her from the water. She holds onto him with a startled laugh, feeling the invigorating chill of the night air against her bare skin. A shiver runs through her body and she isn't sure if it's the cold or the way Paul absently rubs circles on her hip with his thumbs. He holds her with the strength and diligence of Atlas, and she is his whole world.

They get to the truck and Paul lifts down the tailgate with one hand, still holding her against him with his other. The metal creaks as it flattens out and Paul gently sets her down. He steps back and slowly devours her with his eyes. She feels shy under his intense gaze, suddenly incredibly aware that her clothes are in a pile on the sand.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"Because you're beautiful."

"I'm _cold_." She sighs, keeping her eyes trained on the ground as she hugs her arms against her chest. Paul laughs, disappearing from sight for a moment before returning with the blanket kept in the back of the truck.

"Then let me warm you up." He whispers, stepping closer. She expects him to cover her body with the blanket but instead he drapes it along the bed of the truck. Her eyes widen in realization as he gently pushes her further back, and steps up into the truck bed with her. She looks away in embarrassment, but he softly cradles her chin and guides her to meet his eyes. The need is still there, but there's tenderness, too. Paul shifts his body weight until he hovers slightly above her, heating her skin everywhere their bodies meet.

"I love you, have I told you that?" She gently brushes a wet tendril of hair from his face, her breath catching in her throat. With each shaky inhale their chests meet and Nina feels her skin catch on fire.

"I love you, too. More than I could ever say."

His hand reaches out, pausing for a moment before cupping her cheek. Nina inches upward removing any remaining space between them, and leaves a gentle but enduring kiss on his lips. His thumb brushes against her cheek and she moves to caress his own face. The sharp angles of his features are softened by the moonlight streaming through the trees. He's breathtakingly handsome. Nina expects to wake up from this strange and intoxicating dream at any moment.

But Paul kisses her hand, nuzzling his face against her knuckles. He's real, and he's _hers_.

His eyes search out for hers again, asking for permission as his hand travels lower. Nina nods wordlessly. For a moment, it feels as if they are the center of the universe, pulling at each other in dizzying orbit. He finds her most sensitive parts, his fingers cautiously drawing out imploring cries. Nina's hands span curiously across the smooth planes of his taut muscles, nails digging in lightly at each pleasured jolt. Their bodies meld into one another, until she isn't sure where Paul ends and she begins.

They hold onto each other clumsily, eyes shut and mouths open. Words of adoration easily leave Paul's lips, dripping heavy and smooth like honey.

Nina feels a sensation in her abdomen, at once jarring and comforting. A pleasure and a warmth. A release of pressure leaves her body tingling and she clings onto him as if to anchor her body through the sudden monsoon erupting from up her torso and through her limbs. Her fingers dig further into his flesh, clinging, clinging. Paul's body, sweat-slicked and radiating endless heat, slides against hers in an erratic rhythm and leaves her no time to recover. She watches in a daze as his face contorts, leaving messy kisses on his cheeks, his lips, his furrowed brow. She kisses away the bead of sweat dripping down his nose, leaving a salty taste on her tongue.

Paul collapses into her, exhausted, his arms wrapping snugly around her waist. The darkened night sky has not yet been illuminated by the sun's rising hues as they curl into one another.

"You have no idea the amount of restraint that took." He murmurs into the crook of her neck. She peers up at him through half-lidded eyes.

"That was restraint?" She asks half-jokingly, but he only breathes softly against her.

After a long and lazy moment, they lounge seated against the Ranger's cab, bare skin covered by the blanket Paul had tugged haphazardly around them. Nina sits in between Paul's legs, curled into his chest as if warming herself by a furnace, his strong arms wrapped loosely around her body to keep her close.

"You're beautiful," Paul tells her again, leaving a kiss on her shoulder.

"Is that all you have to say?" She smirks, leaning into his touch.

"I love you." He kisses her neck.

"Better."

"I want to take you on a date." He smiles as he kisses her cheek. She turns to look at him, attempting to read his features.

"A date?"

"Yeah." He speaks again, his tone less sure. "We haven't done anything like normal people our age. I just want to be normal for a bit, with you."

She knows exactly what he means.

"Okay." She gives him a tiny reassuring smile and returns his kiss on the cheek. "A date."

Nina wishes she never said yes to Paul.

What was she thinking?

She doesn't know what to wear—something comfortable? Something cute? Should she put on makeup? She hasn't worn makeup since Bella's wedding, and it's not like Paul hasn't seen her in every state of being…

She holds up a simple short sleeved dress in the mirror, would it be weird to wear a dress? If only Leah were here to help her get ready (or maybe not).

Nina convinces herself the dress is casual enough to not feel awkward, but cute enough to look like there had been effort—even if it's basically just an oversized t-shirt. She curls her lashes and swipes on mascara, deciding she doesn't feel like going through the trouble of putting on anything else other than chapstick. She knows if Paul cared what she looked like then that would have come up by now, somewhere between the times he had seen her with mascara running down her face and the hours spent sweaty and wearing mud-covered overalls in the yard.

She mulls over what shoes to wear before slipping on her cleanest pair of sneakers, just in case Paul's idea of a normal teenage date involves walking through the woods. By the time both shoes are on there's a knock at the door. She bounds down the stairs with a goofy grin plastered on her face.

Grandpa John gives her a knowing look and she bites her lip in slight embarrassment. Paul arrived wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but she can tell he put a similar amount of effort into looking effortless - especially when his usual look is a bare chest and cargo shorts.

"You two have fun." Grandpa John gives her a small pat on the back. "Take care of her, Paul."

"Of course." Paul nods, holding onto her hand as he guides her out the door. He stands in front of the driver's side for a moment before looking up at her. She laughs and they switch positions, Nina hopping up into the truck and Paul going around.

"Were you planning on driving?" She muses, starting up the engine.

"I'll learn. One day."

"I'll teach you. One day."

For the first part of their Normal Teenage Date Paul takes her to a laidback Italian restaurant he shyly admits Emily had suggested. The table is covered in butcher block paper, with a box of crayons in the center. Their waiter brings them water and takes their order.

Nina reaches for the green crayon and Paul lets out a small huff, "Did you want this one?"

"No, it's not a problem." He tells her unconvincingly.

She quickly finishes the leaves of her tree doodle to put back the green crayon and take the brown.

"Is green your favorite color?" Nina asks absently, surprised that she doesn't know. (There's still so much about Paul she doesn't know.)

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugs, drawing squiggles and shapes on the paper with no real purpose. "What's yours?"

"Pink."

"No way." He chuckles, before realizing she's serious. "Why pink? You don't act girly."

She rolls her eyes, reaching for a yellow crayon to draw a sun.

"What is acting girly? I'm a girl, anything I do is girly."

"Fine." Paul huffs. "Why do you always have to start a fight?"

Their server clears his throat awkwardly as he arrives with their food, as always way more than a normal person could stomach. Nina watches as their drawings disappear beneath the plates and thanks their server with a smile as he smothers her pasta in grated parmesan.

They eat in pleasant silence, and Nina forgets whatever they had been bickering about. Paul lets her pick off his plate, and when she inevitably gets full after eating too many free breadsticks, he finishes her dinner.

She lets him talk her into dessert and they share a slice of cheesecake, her appetite returned to eat more than half.

"I'm so full." She sighs in content as they walk out of the restaurant after paying. Paul's large hand finds her own and they wander down the sidewalk together, headed toward the movie theater just down the road. "I would have been fine ordering pizza and watching a DVD, but I appreciate you taking me out. It's just nice to hold your hand and walk down the street together."

It's hard to concentrate on the movie with Paul so close to her. The sweet smell of his natural cologne overwhelms her senses in the dark of the theatre. He softly brushes his thumb against the skin between her knee and the hem of her dress. She glances at him, expecting his eyes to be on her, but he's paying full attention to the movie. She stealthily places her own hand on his thigh, causing him to smirk. He leans in and she braces herself for a kiss. Instead, he places a kiss on the top of her head.

"I have a present for you at my house." He whispers to her and her heart thumps. He seems to notice her increased heart rate and a hint of a blush forms on the apples of his cheeks, just visible with the screen lighting. "No, really. I actually do."

Any hope of paying attention or caring about anything happening on screen goes away as Nina's thoughts begin to whir. The ride home is quiet and Paul seems suspiciously relaxed while she's left feeling like the only horny teenager.

Paul's house is small, and almost hauntingly abandoned. She feels a pang of sadness knowing that Paul lives here, just waiting all alone for his dad to come back home. He tells her to wait in the living room and disappears down the hall. She takes a seat on the worn out futon, brushing a piece of dust off of the frame.

Her childish disappointment goes away the moment Paul steps out grinning, holding something behind his back.

"You're gonna think this is weird." He shuffles his feet, adjusting his grip on whatever in his hands. Knowing how quickly everyone else worked in the pack she half expected an engagement ring, but is happy that whatever Paul's holding seems a little too big for that.

"What is it?" Nina can barely contain her curiosity as she steps closer.

"Well, there's not much I can do for you, even though I really want to, and you're going back to school soon…"

"Paul. Come on."

"Here." He holds out a simple canvas backpack. "I hope you like it."

"It's pink." She laughs in shock, gently taking the bag from him. Now that she holds it in her hands she realizes there's something in it. She peers up at Paul and he encourages her to open it. As she unzips the backpack she lets out a small gasp, touched by his gesture. A brand new backpack complete with school supplies. "Wow, you really spoil me. Mechanical pencils with comfort grip? College _and_ wide ruled notebooks?"

Paul sits next to her, gripping onto her knee.

"John said you wanted a new backpack since your old one was a little worse for wear, and they say you should never gift an empty wallet so…"

"I love it, Paul. This is so weird and thoughtful." She leans over to give him a quick peck on the lips. "It's perfect, thank you."

Paul gently places the bag onto the other side of the futon before leaning in. He cups her cheek and returns her kiss. It's slow and tender. Nina starts to quicken the pace, moving her hand under Paul's shirt, but he stops her. He notices the disappointment in her eyes and gives her a reassuring kiss on the cheek.

"I should take you home since I have to leave for patrol soon."

"I drove." Nina says quietly, her voice almost cracking. She's thankful it doesn't.

"I'll ride with you and then leave after I know you're home safe." He clarifies, holding onto her hands gently.

Nina nods, remembering this is their actual normal and everything that happened earlier on their date was the fantasy.


	18. Chapter 18

The first week of school is relatively easy. Nina knows everyone just like Jake had promised (even including some distant cousins).

It would be a totally normal school week if it weren't for one thing: Embry, Quil, and Seth were nowhere to be seen. And once Nina realizes that, everything else begins to falter. There's a sense of unrest in the air only she seems to notice. The other students go on laughing and playing around the halls as if they don't feel it, but it's impossible for Nina to ignore.

She sits alone at lunch, because even though she knows everyone at school her only actual friends have mysteriously vanished. As she picks at her lunch she feels a pair of eyes on her. Nina glances up to see a girl sitting at the other end of the table with an untamed mass of curls atop her head and a smattering of freckles across her face. Their eyes connect and the girl gives her a knowing smile. Nina nearly gets up to join her, not really knowing why, before a familiar voice calls out her name.

"Hey, Kim." Nina smiles, moving her mess of books to make room for her across the table.

"It's weird that no one is here, right?" Kim asks, her head bowed as she eats her lunch.

"Jared didn't tell you anything?" Nina asks hopefully.

"Jared _never_ tells me anything. He says pack business is on a need-to-know and I don't need to know." Kim sighs dramatically, moving her pin-straight black hair over her shoulder. "It feels like something is wrong."

"That's what I was thinking." Nina agrees, relieved to have Kim to talk to—something she'd never thought she'd feel. It wasn't like they had ever really connected, or had any similar interests aside from the wolfy common denominator.

And just as suspected, Nina and Kim quickly run out of things to talk about. The two girls finish their lunches quietly before going their separate ways.

The rest of the day continues with the same modicum of excitement (so, none). Nina had nothing else to do while homeschooling herself so she had already jumped ahead most of the curriculum. She didn't want to talk to random cousins or neighbors or learn about the properties of an atom. She wants to see Paul and have him kiss away the worries forming on her brow with each day he's gone. She wants to see Leah and have her actually tell her what's going on.

Nina moves past the crowds of students outside the school and starts to head home. She's stopped by a girl standing in her path, waving to her. Nina turns to look over her shoulder, expecting someone to be behind her. But no, the girl is waving at her.

"Um, hi." Nina greets her awkwardly. An indomitable spirit shines through the girl's clear brown eyes as she smiles.

"Hey, you're new, right?" The girl asks, pushing a curl behind her ear.

"Yeah, kind of." Nina answers, still feeling suspicious.

"Me, too." The girl beams, reaching out for Nina who instinctively pulls away. The girl frowns apologetically. "Sorry, my mom says I can be a little handsy..."

"No, it's cool." Nina sticks out her hand. "Nina Powell."

"Daisy Huerta." She shakes her hand with a smile. While her skin lacks the same blazing heat Paul possesses, Daisy has her own warmth. "You walking home?"

"Yeah." Nina answers simply. Daisy watches her, as if waiting for more.

"Wanna walk together?" Daisy finally offers, unsatisfied with her silence. Nina nods, and the two girls head off down the road. The quiet doesn't last long, with Daisy seeking to fill any gap in the conversation.

Nina feels like she's learned the girl's entire life story, from her mother running away to college in New York and meeting a handsome musician to the messy divorce and eventual move back to La Push to live with her Aunt Ellie. Somehow, Nina doesn't find the verbosity annoying. Daisy has a sweet and easy voice, and above all Nina is thankful for the distraction as she allows herself to become immersed in the energetic and chaotic world as illustrated by Daisy's wildly moving lips and thin fingers.

The distraction is short lived as the sound of a motorcycle sputtering down the tree path causes Daisy to lose her train of thought; the motorcycle makes a loop and comes back, stopping in front of them. Nina can tell the sudden events have scared Daisy and lets out a sigh of exasperation as she watches Paul and hop off the bike.

"You said you were getting a ride with Collin's mom." Paul keeps his eyes focused on her, his jaw tensed.

"I couldn't find Mrs. Littlesea's minivan in the parking lot." Nina says offhandedly, though she knows she's in the wrong. "Why are you looking at me like that? Did something happen?"

Paul grunts, his eyes landing on Daisy. He gives her a suspicious glance, not even trying to hide his distrust.

"Hi, I'm Daisy—"

"Nina, we need to talk." Paul interrupts. "It's important."

Nina glances at the girl beside her, feeling guilty for leaving her alone.

"Daisy, I have to go. I'm so sorry."

"No, it's okay! Don't worry about me!" She smiles, and Nina genuinely believes there isn't an ounce of annoyance or inconvenience.

Nina gets onto Paul's bike and rides with him back to her house. She inhales his scent through his t-shirt to calm herself down. She's both angry and worried, but what else is new?

"I felt like I had to tell you, since it seems like you consider Bella a friend." Paul says as soon as they get to Grandpa John's, without wasting any time. She wishes he would look at her. She needs to see his face.

"They turned her." Nina anticipates him, taking a sharp breath. Paul shakes his head.

"It's worse than anyone thought. Bella is still human, but she's dying."

"How?" Nina's voice is soft, she gets off of the bike and Paul follows.

"The leech got her _pregnant_ and whatever monster is growing inside her body is killing her." Paul looks her straight in the eye. "Sam said we can't take any risks. When Bella dies, when that thing is born, the treaty will be broken. We have to kill it, before it has a chance to live."

"You can't." Nina feels tears sting at her eyes. "Paul, they'll do anything to protect their family. If you even try to get close you'll die. You can't go, please."

"Have some faith." Paul laughs humorlessly. He rubs his thumb across her cheek, wiping away her tears. "Nina, you're my family now. I'll do anything to protect _you_."

"What else aren't you telling me?" She asks quietly. "Tell me. I know there's something else, I can see it on your face."

"Jacob, Seth, and Leah left the pack. They're defending that thing." Paul seethes. "Seth has always been a leech lover, but I'm surprised about Leah, though I guess I shouldn't be."

Nina swallows.

Leah... left? How is that possible? She would never do that.

She doesn't dare voice the questions swirling through her mind. Paul seems to be barely able to contain himself as it is.

"Do you have to go soon?" Nina asks finally and Paul nods. He walks over to her slowly and wraps his arms around her body.

"It's going to be okay." Paul reassures her, his breath soothingly warm against her ear.

"You don't know that." Nina mumbles, squeezing him tighter.

"No, I don't." He kisses her softly before pulling away. "You should go inside, John's waiting."

Nina nods, stretching up onto her toes to kiss him again.

"Paul, be careful. Please."

"I will. Seeya, Powell."

"Bye, Lahote."

She lets out a long sigh as he disappears into the treeline. She'll never get used to him leaving like that, not knowing when or if he'll come back.

"I made you tea, Little Bird." Grandpa John greets her as she steps through the door. She looks him up and down before frowning slightly.

"Are you leaving?" He can't leave her, too.

John nods.

"I'm going with Billy to distract Charlie, until we know. He's already gotten suspicious."

"What happens when...?"

She can't find herself to form the words. She feels guilty for only worrying about herself, when Charlie was about to lose his whole word. She takes the warm mug as he slowly moves it in her direction. She sips at the fragrant liquid, letting it soothe her.

"The treaty will be broken, and then..."

War.

The wolves will fight until the Cullens are either dead or gone from the land. People will get hurt and there will be no one to heal them. People will die.

Nina wipes the wetness from her eyes.

"Can I go with you?" Nina asks softly, looking up at her grandfather. "I really, really don't want to be alone."

"It's better if you don't." He takes a long breath. She can see the exhaustion on his face, ageing him by the moment. Had his beard always been so white? "I'll take you to Emily's."

When they get to Emily's the lights are on but the house is quiet. Grandpa John squeezes her shoulder. She appreciates him not telling her it's going to be alright, because it would hurt too much if that turned out to be a lie.

Emily is in the kitchen like always. The familiar sight is both annoying and relieving. Kim stands next to the older girl, chopping vegetables and dropping them into the large stockpot on the stove when Emily asks.

"They'll be hungry when they come back." Emily tells her as she stirs the large stockpot, its aroma filling the kitchen.

Kim wipes away tears as she chops, and Nina gets her a towel.

"It's onions." Kim smiles quietly, her eyes red and glassy. Nina only nods.

She won't ask any questions. She knows that isn't her role. All she can do is hold herself together and get the beef broth from the pantry like Emily asks.

Emily leaves the stew to simmer on the stove and wipes her hands on her apron. Nina offers to make coffee and they sit together at the table, picking apart at muffins Emily had made earlier.

Emily asks about school and they chatter quietly, as if afraid to fill the empty space with their voices. Nina sips her coffee, studying the other girls. Emily's kind eyes and scarred skin, her silky hair perpetually tied back away from her face. Kim's button nose and full lips glossed with Smackers, her hair plaited down her back with curls stubbornly sticking out untamed.

Who do you cook for when he's gone? Who do you wait for when he's not coming back?

Nina doesn't ask, but the questions burn in her throat. She's new to this. Waiting. But she knows that Emily and Kim are seasoned veterans of wondering and hoping and jumping each time the front door creaks just because it's old and the wood is warped.

She knows that Paul did his best to protect her. He eventually told her about the redheaded vampire they hunted for most of the year, each time risking their lives. And why Sam wouldn't let her go to the lake alone. She knows what horrors happened when she was in the hospital, when Jake got hurt. And why Paul returned to her like a battle jaded soldier.

Each time Emily and Kim would have been sitting at this table, drinking coffee and waiting. Paul had protected her, but now she doesn't know what to do and she's too scared to ask anyone. She can only sit and sip at her coffee, unsure if it's hot or cold because it doesn't really matter anymore.

Sam comes back first, then Jared. They reassure her that Paul is fine, he just needs to cool off. Sam wraps Emily into an engulfing hug and Jared covers Kim in sloppy and loud kisses. Laughter fills the house again. No one mentions what has occurred.

Nina sits on the porch, letting the other two couples have their privacy as she waits. Paul returns later, his face pale. She holds out her arms and he falls into them, resting his face in the crook of her neck and breathing in deeply.

"I missed you." She murmurs quietly, trying not to cry. She has to be strong, like Emily.

"I missed you, too." He nuzzles his face against her skin again before pulling back to give her a gentle kiss. His large hand finds hers and squeezes. He peers back at the house. "Let's go for a walk."

He leads her away from what she assumes is earshot from Sam. Paul sits on a fallen log off the path of the woods and motions for her to sit next to him.

"Paul, what's going on?"

"Bella gave birth, but there was nothing we could do... She's dead." He answers her quietly, wringing his face in his hands.

"Where is Leah?" Nina asks, her heart thumping. "Where is Jake? What happened?"

Paul gives her a miserable look. There's a quiet rage in his eyes, but mostly just exhaustion. Heartache.

"He... imprinted. On the baby... Bella's baby... There was nothing we could do. Jake wouldn't let us, the Cullens wouldn't let us."

Nina rubs her palm against Paul's back in gentle and slow circles.

"There's nothing you could do." She repeats back to him in a soft whisper.

"I know." Paul's voice cracks and he buries his head into her chest again. "Everything is just a _mess_ right now, and I don't know what to do."

Nina softly cups his chin and brings his lips to her, letting the exhaustion and confusion melt away into the soft and sweet pressure of the kiss.


End file.
